Ferguson's weekend program notes: "...I certainly don't have any plans at the moment to walk away." A lying bastard to the end.

Torres has now won more as a shit player than he ever did as a good one. Thus, it is better to be a shit player.

Made fun of the Scholes decision at first, but United's record since he returned has been superb. #mufc

"I told VDV and Bale to play where they wanted." Redknapp. Arsenal tried the same thing with Fabregas. He chose Barcelona.

Of all the races Liverpool obviously treat equally and respectfully, they still discriminate against the title race. #lfc #liverpool #ynwa

Luis Suarez. Racist, cheater, compulsive eater

Luis Suarez: finally fighting against racism

Go to your Twitter search bar, type 'kuyt game over', pour yourself a drink, and sit back and have a good laugh.

Downing and Carroll rewarded for their excellent seasons with England call-ups.

John Terry photoshops himself into the Champions League final, scoring the equaliser http://t.co/GIeG0YAP #CFC #terry

Chelsea singing "We know what you are, we know what you are. Anton Ferdinand we know what you are." A victim of racial abuse, presumably.

Spurs are out of the Champions League. Is this the earliest exit ever?

Suarez apparently called Evra a 'negro', which is not racist in Spain. Good job Evra's Spani- oh. Good job they were in Spain at the ti- oh.

Allowing Stewart Downing to display just how bad he is to an international audience is a clear example of the FA's anti-Liverpool conspiracy

I don't want to heap pressure on anyone, but I'd be very surprised if Phil Jones doesn't go on to be the greatest man who ever lived.

Seriously, John Terry has worn the Chelsea kit so that when people look back on this it'll be as if he played. The man is insane.

*Checks why Thatcher is trending. Is disappointed.*

4 points between Liverpool and West Brom. If Uncle Roy finishes above them I may actually laugh my head off.

Personally, I want the artificially-wealthy team in blue with a team full of unlikeable players to win.

This front page is an *atrocity*. Worst ever. Every single bit is awful, and it's worse than the sum of its parts. http://t.co/xUMn8Co