Pity-lunch today w/co-worker who's feeling left out. She will bring the bad locale choice and boring conversation, I will bring the AWESOME.

I am the poster child for Overwhelming Ennui today. I cannot seem to accomplish anything except for a) sighing plaintively or b) daydreaming

My student worker just told me that I was in high school when she was born. Then I high-fived her. In her FACE. #IlookgreatsojustshutupB

In other news, my husband fixed the frozen shower pipe. Praise for my sparkly shininess should start rolling in any minute now. #freshclean

My boss just told me he doesn't like my hair today. I told him that he broke my heart; he offered to staple it back together for me. #salty

My boss wanted to yell at me for coming in late today, but instead looked at me and said "you look like you've had a rough day." Um, thanks

It's only 8:30am, and my office is already teeming with Eeyores. Must resist their sourness.

A coworker spent a week in Vegas, and I spent a week doing her work. A thank you is too much to ask for, I guess? Hi-5? Stripper? #Fherthen

Just realized next week is a three-day work-week. I don't know how T-day got here so fast, but I'd sure like to make out with it a little.

@paxofficio The emails inspire me to dress really slutty. To, you know, create a welcoming atmosphere. That's good people skills, right?

I just cleared a spiderweb between two boxes. I guess that means I should get my shit together and actually unpack? Judgey spiders. #Sheesh

My coworker is cracking me up with her "medical knowledge." I just want to pet her head and tell her she's a pretty, pretty princess.

Summation of a recent conversation between me and @paxofficio: "It's like I have Turrets, but with karate kicks." #becausewerock

ENNUI

Why do people feign innocence when called on mistakes? Our technology attaches user names to everything. Welcome to the world of tomorrow.

Seriously, IT people of the world: your patience and ability to restrain the bitchslapping amazes me.

I sincerely like it when people describe (part of) my job as "data capturing." Like I'm out snaring data with a lasso and a net. #yeehaw

My husband's belief in the Sink-Fairy-That-Cleans-Up- Beard-Trimmings instills in me a belief in the Martini-Fairy-That-Makes-It-OK.

I was so proud of myself for being early to work, but my pride has turned to regret as the morning drags on. #ohyeah #thisiswhyIcomeinelate

Five days off in a row is making it hard to conceptualize that I'll have to go back to work soon, and clothing will no longer be optional.