@SwissSP13's (Ummmm No) most faved Tweets...
Lesson I took away from HR Conflict Management Class... There is nothing a swift back hand to the side of the head can't resolve. Good Talk
Being adopted I always hoped for a recessive super model, pro athlete or genius gene, but tantrums and pants crapping are just as cool...
The pies are done, and my culinary skills surprise even me. Not as much as my drinking skills and amazing boobs, but whatever...
Welcome to Milwaukee, please stay seated & try not to laugh out loud at the human size crack whore poodle as you depart the plane
In celebration of the upcoming Xmas holiday, I will be putting mistletoe in my back pocket so everyone can kiss my ass
If there is an up side to going back to work tomorrow I won't have to wipe anyone's ass... Well... Literally anyway...
I shall now make star shaped cut out cookies since none of the stars I am dishing out on here are sticking... Later...
Want your children to start loving, wanting and needing you? Start cooking something that requires constant stirring...
I am glad my kids are learning things in school but for fuck sake, does everything have to be put to an annoying game show tune?!?!
Good night Twitter! You are so much more entertaining than people I actually know. I am thankful for that, and beer and bacon of course...
Oh first class... Why do I love thee... Free drinks, free drinks, free drinks, have I mentioned there are free drinks?
Who schedules K5 conferences at 7:40PM? Oh yea, the kid-less wench who is my kid's teacher. Sure!! You can have pixie sticks for breakfast!!
Me? Can't sleep. 4 caught his father & I *wrestling*. We have officially put the picture no child ever wants into his head. Terrible... F...
4 just shit himself AGAIN and instead of asking me to change him, he just put new clothes on- Sans cleaning himself up... #FML
Boss just told me to take tomorrow and Fri off as comp days in lieu of a bonus. Her hair and makeup become a little less offensive everyday.
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