@animallanguage welcome to the real world, where "friends" don't even want you to succeed.

Time to get trashed :)) pic.twitter.com/OYDRd7wfs1

Ate half the cookie dough raw & half the cookie dough baked, but ate it all baked

Can "<" and ">" stop being a "cool" way to show what things you like better than other things please?

Ahhh the "where's the sploof face" #classic

Connect the cuts. pic.twitter.com/O1FOuojY

Thanks Ted, now every "clever" & "original" person will be saying "thunder buddy" everytime there's a ma fuckin thunder storm

Jw not trying to offend any "bible thumpers" but like wtf, wine isn't gods blood its fucking grapes nigga...

I'm peeved that she's not protecting me, for all I know she's braiding her mustache

The phrase "there are no small parts only small actors" is so true just look at glen coco ahahaaha

The world should rename the "song" 22 by @taylorswift13 to "12" because last I checked 22 year olds don't engage in such lame "activities"

When did we all go from being so optimistic to shooting down our own dreams #fuckthesystem

pic.twitter.com/P6ffBi9dqY

"Yeah, ill keep squabis, cause one day ill actually chirp him to his face-book"

@harry_styles HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D wish you me and @zaynmalik could spark a bday spliff, ñice beard btw :* xx. pic.twitter.com/TvcuWSBa

woah that was a fuckin gay tweet

I miss Tavi pub </3

*ithrowmyhandupintheairsometimes* @rayychel -all the guys in here look like birds (Mins later) - meat flaps invisible wings @lyshaavenhuizen

@dilpreetsingh88 why the hell did that warrant a smile response thats scary as fuck

Wish I could get one slice of pizza delivered cause I'm too broke for a whole one