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  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. I can't stand the sound of clapping.

    • 408
    • FAVS
    ntithesiscuriousteejhippo_chicSadPerunalacrossemom5ms_mehtorieannesaltgweasl
    • 108
    • RETWEETS
    MariusStefi247MattFalkComedyxtianrovicSadPerunacurly_careyDrinkingQuestShock_Monsterilikeyouguys
    BrainlessGeorge
  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    I hope my tombstone reads: Matrixed 9 out of 10 bullets.

    • 346
    • FAVS
    AsianSweetieOrgspeevisJediGigintithesisdental37Ali_Diesel_jenjenjenjen12PhoenixRises69
    • 143
    • RETWEETS
    JediGigibrickshithousemdental37PhoenixRises69BMWKing1FredPollackboobysimmonsTheCarter18
    weinerdog4lifeThatGirlSloaneFunnyRandomStrongAsMeat
  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    If I answer the phone, it was by accident while I was trying to hit ignore.

    • 340
    • FAVS
    ntithesisTraceykemp8big_d4vesmilely_galdansmellyoul8rdonnasammyMelloPsychoHeatherB_T
    • 110
    • RETWEETS
    jboulanger23KevinBuffalomissfucketrybig_d4veItsBetweenMeTooMelloPsychoAineAnisacreepyfruit______
  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    I always carry around a cardboard cutout of Lady Gaga in case I'm ever the ugliest person in a room.

    • 275
    • FAVS
    ntithesisTellingTellersmrt1mMS2034jakob_huberDawnLovesZombieSwanieChickenTeflonPawn
    • 74
    • RETWEETS
    charlesdbarkerkv8Niche_WeirdTacet_no_moreFavstar250LBelle1redkedabo________SpongeSculpture
    EatingZebras______
  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    I've heard people say that obesity runs in their family. By the looks of them though, nothing runs in their family.

    • 220
    • FAVS
    A_KoobntithesisTellingTellersSCBamaManmrt1mnononowaityeahJay1972JayMS2034
    • 85
    • RETWEETS
    ntithesisnononowaityeahMS2034steverudykPharmGirlMietz____TeflonPawnMrNoLaughsKoJo_Sunshine____
    EatingZebras______joeyyantoniosbouncerface______
  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    Don't be afraid to take chances. People named Chance deserve to be kidnapped.

    • 189
    • FAVS
    brianalan85speevisDaddyJewJediGigiTellingTellersSCBamaManilikeyouguysmrt1m
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    JediGigiMS2034MrNoLaughsKoJo_Sunshine____datafaucetPreggienaidoo____jsscnlnjoeljeffrey
  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    Starbucks really knows how to put the "fee" in coffee.

    • 180
    • FAVS
    TellingTellersSCBamaManilikeyouguysmrt1mnononowaityeah__candypantsReDHeaDeDTaRT____MS2034
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    nononowaityeahMS2034steverudykSimplyNamedTronhamditarodanielapetrescukellyskellyGreenValentia
  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    What do fat whales get compared to?

    • 178
    • FAVS
    TellingTellersmrt1mMS2034steverudykjakob_huberSwanieChickenTeflonPawnkjmeow
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    MS2034steverudyknaazihahEatingZebras______aleneparrTuna_LoverURdreamingnowCynicalLongkat
  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    "You seem to be enjoying that entirely too much. Let me ruin it for you." - Person who created the veggie burger.

    • 169
    • FAVS
    JediGigiTellingTellersSCBamaManilikeyouguysmrt1mLookAwayMomDadMS2034steverudyk
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    DoubleTAP49JediGigievilbastard707MS2034steverudyknoblepeterSimplyNamedTronLipglosslesbo
  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    I just rolled a joint. To be more specific, it was my ankle. And I'm in pain.

    • 141
    • FAVS
    speevisRolexOnMyDickJediGigiilikeyouguysmrt1mWinghamTracyMS2034jakob_huber
    • 55
    • RETWEETS
    JediGigibrandonadamsjjayraeyTeflonPawnla_SUZANITAcjs3471DadandBuriedkjmeow
  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    I think my problem, is that I immediately fall in love with any girl who likes Star Wars...so basically I never fall in love.

    • 141
    • FAVS
    rebecka_avrahamJediGigiilikeyouguysmrt1mAGirlNamedSuzMS2034jakob_huberitsangiekbye
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    ThirstyJawaJediGigiRobG_DjElle_clemicumbersomeoneChippy_DippyKillerHellencopernicus_74
  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    "Hey man, no worries. I'm just joshin with ya!" - A very uncool person.

    • 137
    • FAVS
    ilikeyouguysmrt1mmonstabrat________MS2034jakob_huberSwanieChickenkjmeowKoJo_Sunshine____
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    MS2034steverudykfavstar1000favsWanderingLeoJstraw94__________Just_Joshing_UFavstar500Favsclaysummers
  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    If a man grows a mustache in a forest and no one's around to see, is it still glorious? Answer: Yes

    • 135
    • FAVS
    SCBamaManilikeyouguysmrt1msheerluckholmesefasheefaa________MS2034leslid79__________linkerdink
    • 41
    • RETWEETS
    VdChantellefin_olearyjakob_huberday_vissma_kau_toddintime________SmashMyersEatingZebras______
    EatingZebras______
  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    I like to stare at girls' foreheads until they become self conscious and order Proactiv.

    • 125
    • FAVS
    ilikeyouguysmrt1mMS2034jakob_huberjessilylesSwanieChickenkjmeowKoJo_Sunshine____
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    sexxxnyourgirlaleneparrfavstar1000favsPedagoracrabbonerJstraw94__________BrainlessGeorgetoddintime________
  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    Sorry Electric Avenue, but I think I'll stick to Acoustic Boulevard. I really don't need to be taken higher.

    • 113
    • FAVS
    mrt1mMS2034KoJo_Sunshine____jakob_huberSwanieChickenkjmeowb00bjizzkv8
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    redbreasticlesfavstar1000favsaz_davMi_SSbehavedstephanie_ayseImSeanSavoryHallpassCanadaPedagora
    DrinkingatWork
  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    I judge how good my days are based on my milk to cereal ratio every morning.

    • 108
    • FAVS
    mrt1mMS2034Elle_clemiSwanieChickenkjmeowKoJo_Sunshine____b00bjizztinymattresses
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    MS2034steverudykfavstar1000favsJust_some_girl2justkristyniBrowniEd2crabbonerPedagora
    Ivsy01
  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    I'll only follow you if you're hilarious. Or hot. Or have lots of money and are willing to share. Or if you ask. But that's it!

    • 98
    • FAVS
    mrt1mjennthegreat1MSCHVS2MS2034Elle_clemiSwanieChickenkjmeowKoJo_Sunshine____
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    MS2034erinnelikewoahdatafaucetaleneparrJust_some_girl2Me_NelaDay_DrinkingShoutingGoddess
  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, wondering why I suddenly had a sex change.

    • 97
    • FAVS
    SCBamaManilikeyouguysmrt1mrhabeyMS2034SwanieChickenkjmeowKoJo_Sunshine____
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    MS2034datafaucetKillerHellenfullblowndaveBrainlessGeorgeSpiderogerBrusuthMissMarieJay
    fullblowndaveSashaBrenner
  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    I'm totally looking forward to celebrating 13/13/13!!

    • 92
    • FAVS
    mrt1mMS2034SwanieChickenkjmeowKoJo_Sunshine____b00bjizzkv8datafaucet
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    chris_montoyaProjectXingHallpassCanadaLoli_SugFavstar500FavsThe_imBROglioHey_Yo_Mikey______
  • TFriss
      FRISSTICUFFS @TFriss

    So, when someone steals your tweet, it means you're popular...right?

    • 79
    • FAVS
    mrt1mMS2034Elle_clemiSwanieChickenkjmeowKoJo_Sunshine____b00bjizzkv8
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    SwanieChickenProjectXingHallpassCanadasamyspaz__________saintmayb3Favstar500Favsbouncerface______Ruese______
@TFriss

@TFriss

Writer of songs, eater of toast, liver of life. #KCCO