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Sometimes I'll turn my phone on airplane mode just so I can feel like I'm traveling.
Just to cover a few of the key twitter words for today. Unicorns. Bacon. Kittens. Ok now that that's done I can get to business.
All you People favoriting my tweets, are you stealing them for yourselves? I hope not. They aren't very good.
I'll look in the suitcases at Goodwill to see if any smugglers left anything in the linings.
Im putting my best foot forward. Because the other one is deformed. makes it hard for me to stand.
I tweet with an English accent because everything is funny with an English accent.
Before you get upset, get all the facts. Then justifiably get upset at the right people.
I'm writing the story of my life one page at a time. Don't take anything I say seriously. Just like most people on here I'm a nobody.