Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
You know what never drops like flies? Flies.
My idea of multitasking is digesting lunch and daydreaming about dinner at the same time.
One should certainly be allowed to hold a baseball bat out the window of a moving car to clip Spandex-clad bikers. This. Isn't. France.
Such a small world. Twitter makes it even smaller.
Some fetishes, I understand. Armpits, dentures, pissing, and Anime are not those.
Loud moaning is a good sign that Im enjoying it but if it starts sounding like a squeal or howling, get a pillow for my face & call in sick.
And she's fucked up my eyebrows the fucking whore.
I'd love to get paid just for being myself. Like Beyoncé.
I should just live in Vegas or Miami. I could totally nail a rich, old American there.
That moment of drunkenness when you're convinced your half-closed eyes are sexy. Yea. Delusion
Shout out to all the scholars on twitter who feel the need to explain your tweets. Get a job.
Yea yea.. I'm a mistake you'd love to make.
I keep feeling like I've done something that I will deeply regret. But I cant remember what it is :s
Give me your hand and we will run together our whole lives
Boobs are so warm.
Nothing happened in the dream FYI. He was just making an appearance- not in the vagina, thank goodness.
Thanks to Yenni Potato Chips I now have my new tattoo design. I love having such talented, creative friends :)