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Here's why signing in is good for you.
DEAR LITTLE GIRL IN THE MALL WALKING BACKWARD AND ACTING LIKE A DINOSAUR, THREATENING PARENTS WHEN THEY GET TOO CLOSE W ROARS: COOL, GOOD
THIS DUDE ON THE TRAIN WAS ASLEEP ON THE FLOOR FOR LIKE 20 MIN AND THEN WOKE UP AND TOOK A BABY BUNNY OUT OF HIS SLEEVE LIKE NBD WHATEVER
GET ALL YOUR FRIENDS TOGETHER IN A PUBLIC PARK AND PRETEND TO BE CATS UNTIL THE POLICE COME BUT THEN STILL PRETEND TO BE CATS
$5 WRINKLE TRICK THAT HAS BOTOX DOCTORS FURIOUS!: ACCEPT THE IMPERMANENCE OF ALL THINGS AND EMBRACE YOUR BODY
I HAVE MORALS AND HERE THEY ARE: WONDER, GRATITUDE, SELF-ACCEPTANCE, HOT PINK, BIRTHDAY, KITTEN MISCHIEF
SEXT: WE TRADE LIMBS BUT THEN TRADE THEM BACK. YOUR LEGS ARE STUPID. I LOVE YOU BUT YOUR LEGS ARE STUPID
GATHER IN A PILE ALL THE FUTURES YOU CANNOT ACCEPT AND THEN BOLDLY STRIDE IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION
I DID A REALLY DECENT JOB OF BEING IMMORTAL TODAY
I DIDN'T DIE ONCE EVEN THOUGH I HAD SEVERAL OPPORTUNITIES
REMEMBER THE TIME WE ROLLED AROUND LIKE DRUNKEN WORMS FOR HOURS AND YOU FORGOT YOUR NAME AND I GAVE YOU A THOUSAND NEW ONES?
WORM RIDING A VERY SMALL HORSE TROTS PAST A WORM ON THE GROUND (HORSELESS WORM) AND THEY SMILE AT ONE ANOTHER IT'S COOL TO BE A WORM
WHEN I WAS VERY YOUNG
MAYBE 4 OR 5 YEARS OLD
MY BIGGEST FEAR WAS THAT ONE DAY MY MOTHER WOULD TURN AROUND AND HAVE A DIFFERENT FACE
TODAY I WAS RIDING MY BIKE DOWN A HILL REALLY FAST AND SOMETHING HIT MY FACE AND I THOUGHT: a bug kis me AND THEN I SMILED FOR SOME TIME
.@pizzahut MY PIZZA HAD A LIVE BIRD ON IT AND NOW WE ARE FRIENDS THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOOUR DELIGHTFUL PRODUCTS
I LIKE TO HIT A LOT OF DIFFERENT NOTES THROUGHOUT THE DAY BUT I TRY TO MAINTAIN A BASELINE OF WILD, STUPID ENTHUSIASM
LET'S PLAY A GAME WHERE YOU THINK OF A NUMBER AND I NEVER TRY TO GUESS IT BECAUSE WE ALL NEED PRIVACY AND PERSONAL SPACE
YOU PUT A DUCK ON MY HEAD AND LAUGH. MY HEAD IS SLOWLY SWALLOWED INTO MY NECK, PULLING THE DUCK INTO PLACE. I BEGIN HONKING ANGRILY
A DINOSAURVILLIAN.
