"Chocolate milk, shotgun or dinosaur. What's it gonna be?" - Overheard in Target

Crop circles on city sidewalks stomped into the mounds of burning trash: "Come back, please. We didn't mean it. Don't go." #quietcrew

The ship draws its power fm explosions of improbable outcomes; wars that will never be fought, bombs that will never be dropped. #quietcrew

Headline read on NYC subway: "Texting blamed for boozing, teen sex, and drug use." Shit, I was just gonna blame @absinthe_fairie

At a sunny outdoor cafe, three pre-teen girls have just learned the phrase coup d'état; they're chanting it over and over. My neighborhood.

@nihildenada Social media is Big Brother's secret dream. Twenty years ago we were terrified to speak. Now we're terrified of being ignored.

Once you've filed your taxes correctly, your childhood is lost forever.

Apparently I have forwarded my mail to Insomnia. ("Nobody here but us demons, nagging fears and paranoid delusions of an anonymous demise.")

#freecomicbookday You guys, I am SO FUCKING PROUD of @gofrankgo right now. I hate him even more than before! Props... pic.twitter.com/vYYdCQEiEj

"And then I was like? And then she was like? And then I was like?" Mutual nods urge cartoon bubbles skyward, bumping against cafe ceiling.

@amalthya The washer probably needs to go DUN DUN when it's finished.

Pulp sci-fi. Sushi. Powerful, skull-crushing sounds. Strong drink. These are a few of my favorite things...

Crows crow you home, crows crow you to sleep, crows crow your name over and over, your name is Caw, it just worked out that way. #quietcrew

@possiblemachine Studies have shown that *some were Kung-Fu fighting, but those numbers remain inconclusive at this time.

Close eyes now theater to begin and end as Earth drives in circles, stars wink, popcorn in the lobby no talking. Everything will change soon

Dear @gofrankgo, I found a video I'd like you to review: http://t.co/crYc4Au8 You don't have to know anything about metal. It's okay...

Who taught you how to read? Maybe you should call that person and say "thank you." Because they had an AWESOME opportunity to fuck with you.

@pafford Insist that your co-workers call you Paffordius. I double dare you.

DAMNED TO THE LIFE YOU'RE DOOMED TO IF YOU'RE TOO DAMN AFRAID TO BE OPEN TO THE NEW.

REALISM: http://t.co/di0aBmaM