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  • Area51eh
      Canadian Alien @Area51eh

    Why couldn't Dane Cook be the first man on the moon? Then we'd all be happy right now.

    • 77
    • FAVS
    zapmyassCanadianCynPoppyTriggs______sistersurfPrettiestPicklecoltoutthereCrMul____________DanteEvilCat
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    KingPatrick24ScottMantoothPortRoosterilluminatedwndrRomoForTheWinleslid79__________Favstar500Favsjunejuly12
    Tammythetwit
  • JustCallMeFrank
      Just Call Me Frank™© @JustCallMeFrank

    Just ate a big pile of angry, and washed it down with some shut the fuck up and leave us alone now.

    • 42
    • FAVS
    MatchingTattoos__BonaFideIntentPeaceInTruth1ChristianPlanteperryjosephrushDONTJIMMYMEJULZDrawingShadows____DvL305
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    Poekie_BChamplinMattRD_HurleyDvL305Pulse_NYCakarmuttTammythetwitgingerweeds______
    Tammythetwit
  • Stella1070
      Not A PluckedChicken @Stella1070

    *Holds empty container* Alas poor yogurt, I knew him.

    • 42
    • FAVS
    tjinscothoneybadgerMelCM2BTTHDsudonomdeplume__The_DorksterBarW38blurryfotorvangorder3
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    gmossiiWorrierQueen______Tammythetwitanomicman
    Tammythetwit
  • Ms_Mosman
      Jessica @Ms_Mosman

    Not sure what reverse cowgirl means but I just opened this can of baked beans upside down.

    • 148
    • FAVS
    BeyondZealousbakabekoGregimoPears19BetterOffJenayoitsDK__________Fallun_AngelTammythetwit
    • 37
    • RETWEETS
    rdapplesTammythetwitRobotSkeleton69JustLusting______leader_injeansindigos__sanshadenerdamage
    Tammythetwit
  • Sirrruh
      Sirrruh @Sirrruh

    Hey I just met you and this is crazy but if you play that song again the manslaughter charges I'll face will be worth it. SHUT IT DOWN!

    • 56
    • FAVS
    dreamthievinpineappleiheartLetsFavcreatinsparks____TattooedMiserylilly_rush24______JermHimselfishtheBreSterling
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    Matt_CFC93shivamLMFavstar500FavsHM_payusraahh__kimberlululuCloudsofGemini____thedayofthedot
    Tammythetwit
  • Classy_Cassy89____
      Kaputsicles @Classy_Cassy89____

    Whenever I get tired of my house and feel like traveling, I just clean out my dresser and put a Bible in the top drawer.

    • 62
    • FAVS
    pineappleiheartDaveParenteauGhetto_Trophydick_ishJayElem00DrThanatosManoman03bulls_horns______
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    pineappleiheartSureshMKotharifacciabellamochanyaFavstar500Favsfleurvoleur______funEguy74________BabetteJones
    Tammythetwit
  • 9to5Life
      Christian Hansen @9to5Life

    7:00 - Story time
    7:15 - Tell kids it’s bedtime
    7:45 - Yell to get back in bed again
    8:05 - EVERYONE IS CRYING
    8:15 - Asleep
    8:16 - Bourbon

    • 120
    • FAVS
    cloudypianosthedailymarkerMaeShevawnEmilyMadelenHh3lvirallvvzzSharpesEyeViewsp3ct0r
    • 45
    • RETWEETS
    MystieMHoodieVixenThomasComedyadriana_lamasWriteOrRiot__VballSpikeChic__graceaburrfavstar1000favs
    TammythetwitGinRumMe
  • Stella1070
      Not A PluckedChicken @Stella1070

    *Shake it down, shake it down, shake it DOWN now. Shake it down, shake it down, shake it DOWN now.* Mother Goose gets her groove on.

    • 31
    • FAVS
    tjinscot9to5LifeTammythetwitzombieparrotdaliamalekkevinrowe1StPaulRevereMaxine12333
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Tammythetwitpeckishly
    Tammythetwit
  • Irish_girlie
      Breanne @Irish_girlie

    The difficult part about being drunk at four o’clock in the afternoon is that it’s not acceptable to go to sleep right now.

    • 21
    • FAVS
    BlarebareHalbeerzjimmyfairplay____dishinyourbellyurbustaCheeseboy22Tweetdeano________CelebrityChez
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Tammythetwit
    Tammythetwit
  • LicoriceNipples______
      Licorice Nipples @LicoriceNipples______

    Centaurs love Hopscotch.

    Twister, not so much.

    • 25
    • FAVS
    AnnaKei26________GonzoPhiljaslakhmnamarlespoCavedInwardsDavySunshineJaneOnymousPartlykidding
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    GonzoPhilTammythetwitdave0821kittenmuse
    Tammythetwit
  • kevnasto
      xHOBOMISSINGx @kevnasto

    Canada doesn't have a president. We've got a suggestion box in our zellers, that gets read every evening.

    • 35
    • FAVS
    colnickfury______NotKarmaGuyAdvisorTorriableCanadianCynMofokaJonezbyronblurbAnyalachae7
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    outasync66TammythetwitLedvedderThe_Fideal________CameltoesmcgeeGlittermepink5____FuzzyPimplelemy1184__________
    Tammythetwit
  • AndrewR31
      AndrewR31 @AndrewR31

    I've already worked more in this week alone than Khloe Kardashian has in her entire life.

    • 24
    • FAVS
    lvvzzGuttaLikeNoOthashanetheveinJulieWahooNJOmaulifuffVerifiedDrunkVikeeysSecret
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    maulifuffMr_DzinkahmediamanipSirrruhTammythetwitHyperfisch
    Tammythetwit
  • Stexcy
      Stacy @Stexcy

    The only time I yell "PULL OUT!" is when I see fat people at the buffet.

    • 29
    • FAVS
    SassyMcMelonsraydauphinaisZingingCutieKelFockerLisaFartedvikkaroniGetCougarizedJimmysWG
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    snifgitzapAttack_buster61Tammythetwit
    Tammythetwit
  • HannahAntics
      KikiPop @HannahAntics

    Dear Lady whose kids I yelled at from the dressing room: Sorry, I thought they were my kids. But they needed it. Discipline your kids.

    • 81
    • FAVS
    notfaizzyGizSalAliColoChiverKim_pulsiveskitzoetteshanetheveinmaybestef________onedavedeep
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    TammythetwitFilterlessFemmeFavstar500FavsmissrickleyRobokid1977______BmoreLikeNitaImOneMuslim____thedailymarker
    Tammythetwit
  • RowdyPrimate
      Rowdy Peppercorn. @RowdyPrimate

    Telling people I'll see them in Hell is just dishonest of me. I'm just going to pretend I don't see them there either.

    • 30
    • FAVS
    NuttinewMollysol2ficklepickle13____kimbers0814McCPeggyaugtopiaelkepancakevaria2u
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    ToolPackinMamaMollysol2tournesol359ficklepickle13____chrissykittyfulkimbers0814lorboneKittyjane62
    Tammythetwit
  • Earth2Eddie
      Earth 2 Eddie @Earth2Eddie

    How many stars do I need to get before I get a power up?

    • 210
    • FAVS
    Bulldog0613lazydoxyLindaInDisguisetonguegiantJenny4ashleyMitchoacanTeeS900__________MakeYourBedlam
    • 67
    • RETWEETS
    lazydoxyJenny4ashleystilettophile____HG_XXX_KitchenRiotGRRLBarbiestoptalkingshet__alexadiazz_kevnasto
    Tammythetwit
  • Cheeseboy22
      Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22

    I'd totally eat at a salad bar if it had lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, ketchup, mustard, hamburger and buns.

    • 134
    • FAVS
    1HappytwitWerbo1937________honeybadgerMelTheNykkiestMsCarlissimaOMGLookOverTherJayElem00zachheltzel
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    Werbo1937________vonngilmoreambikimsCrackedIllusionOrvllShrednbchreminaxoxooYarnBallClockfavstar1000favs
    Werbo1937________Tammythetwitcdubbub__________
  • JolieEsprit
      Shady Boots @JolieEsprit

    When a pale gal like me attempts to tan with Coppertone SPF 12 Dry Oil Spray, cooking directions on the bottle would be appropriate.

    • 15
    • FAVS
    SquizbotJayElem00ShipInTheKnightPsycholystnewativanguyDaveParenteaucyanidecynicHalbeerz
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    SquizbotTammythetwit
    Tammythetwit
  • Area51eh
      Canadian Alien @Area51eh

    To all my Canadian followers,if any of you see Darryl,tell him to give me a call.*



    *Dear Americans -We all know each other in Canada

    • 230
    • FAVS
    ocourtneynomydmackelkulusThe_MartiniGirlJenny4ashleyrichard_40ozstevenshepperdTwistdidMind
    • 97
    • RETWEETS
    zombieinventorJenny4ashleyrichard_40ozVonBrutal________amantaray135TwistdidMindsilverbreezeyFinnTheF
    bill_stitelerweinerdog4lifeTammythetwit
  • Classy_Cassy89____
      Kaputsicles @Classy_Cassy89____

    I consider it a good day when I didn't get fired or hit anybody too hard.

    • 47
    • FAVS
    pineappleiheartbrentsisleyTammythetwitYHBlonde__________discokenmadmaxrerisenChiefTwittlerscotthellrising
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    TammythetwitYHBlonde__________nick102a5Carter_TCBshescreams_danimike9woodTwiterHeroKarmic_Mishap
    Tammythetwit

Tammy the Canadian’s Awards

@Tammythetwit

@Tammythetwit

Stamping my carbon footprint all over...

Tweets that @Tammythetwit has recently awarded the Tweet of the Day.