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When someone says "The last thing I'd want to do is hurt you", I'm wondering why they have a list of things to do that includes hurting me.
Sperm can live inside a woman for like 2 weeks.
Nine months if things go really wrong.
My wife is on her exclamation mark.
My mind has a dick of its own.
A gentleman remembers her birthday, but forgets her age.
Ron Jeremy's in the hospital?
Yeah, I've seen this one.
Technically all underwear are edible if you're drunk enough.
So you're telling me that for $399 my iPhone can be a half-inch longer?
When is the iPenis coming out?
I would totally support the development of a 14-year after pill.
I hope NASA finds life on Mars and it immediately hands them lemons just for the hell of it.
Never forget: you are a victorious sperm.
If you wanna fuck, tug on my dick 2 times. If you don't wanna fuck, tug on my dick 437 times.
Good eye, Forrest Whitaker. Good eye.
I totally hope some Russian couple found a superbaby this morning.
Unfortunately for me, "balls deep" and "just the tip" are the exact same thing.
Ladies, if I kiss your hand, don’t mistake me for a gentleman.
I’m just smelling your fingers.
The NFL has its first female referee. Guess we don’t need instant replay anymore.
God gave you two ears and one mouth because I have two hands and one penis.
I bet clowns have awesome make-up sex.
I pulled out in front of someone today.
Didn’t have a choice.
Just looking for a good laugh. 18+ (inches) http://favstar.fm/users/TarzanFeathers