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REMINDER FOR REPUBLICANS: Do not accept any government help today. YOU built that. YOU can clear the roads. YOU can restore power, not FEMA.
Everyone's a libertarian until their state is under 10 feet of water.
No matter who wins tonight, we're all impressed Fox News made it through 4 years of a black president without saying the N-word on the air.
Donald Trump is calling for revolution. Revolution. Can someone remind him what happens to rich loudmouths in a revolution?
BREAKING: Florida says OK to hunt and shoot black kids, as long as you make up some cockamamie story about how you were scared of Skittles.
That awkward moment when George Zimmerman's brother says the family fears vigilantes who might try to take the law into their own hands.
#AreYouBetterOff than you were four years ago? If not, then we should try taking rights away from women and gays and see if that helps.
That awkward moment when Mitt suggests getting rid of FEMA on TV and then Hurricane Sandy hits the East Coast right before the election.
OK, Florida, why don't you start voting for 2016 now so you'll be done the same time as the rest of us.
If we outlaw guns, criminals will still get them.
If we outlaw abortions, then no woman will ever have one.
It's just logic.
Mitt Romney's strategy:
1. Throw out a few numbers.
2. Say "leadership" in every sentence.
3. Give no detail.
4. Repeat #2.
Republicans say it's raining; Democrats say it's sunny. Rather than go outside and see for themselves, the media reports the controversy.
I was never a Reagan Democrat-- I've always been a Colbert Conservative.