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My 20 y.o. daughter is battling cancer and gets a bone marrow transplant today.....send some good twitter vibes our way please! :)
After watching one lady drink her piss and another binging on cat treats on My Strange Addiction tonight, I feel normal as fuck.
for some reason one of my 8th grade boys keeps yelling, "rubber penis" at random. Told him to stop w/ the wishful thinking and get to work.
So a guy on My Strange Addiction wants to fuck his car. His father asks him, "Is this because of the divorce?" I'm thinking it goes deeper.
What is a Twitter Elite? For example: What are the perks? Do all elites get a cake party in the break room at month's end? Any cash prizes?
What kind of weirdo has a birthday party for their cat? How ridiculous. I can't go anyway, my dog has its first Holy Communion that day.
Praying for my Facebook friend's dog....it is in Hospice. I depended on that dog for likes and comments. This sucks for me.
I am happy to report that approximately 73% of my Facebook friends are feeling "blessed" this morning. Lucky fucks.
I consider Twitter my beacon in dark times. So basically, I'm fucked.
"There's some boom boom in this poon poon" - emblazoned across the tshirt of the man at the gas station who just asked for my phone number
I just saw a real live nun at the post office. I didn't know people still did that shit.
So my friend's dog has liked 3 of my status updates on Facebook today. A new low for me.
Busted one of my 6th grade boys for sexual harassment and transmission of porn in 1st period today. Shouldn't be long before he's on Twitter
Big Vagina in Little China #ReplaceFilmTitlesWithVagina
In class w/ my 6th graders, 2 smell like cat pee, another is tone deaf and playing Xmas songs on a flute,1 keeps farting...someone shoot me.
You know things have taken an ugly turn when you find solace in the guitar solo of The Knack's, "My Sharona".
I suggested a game for Facebook and got shot down:( "Meth World"- you build stoves to cook, award meth recipes to friends, build rehabs, etc
Everyday I see dozens of friends who are "blessed" on Facebook. On here, not so much.........
I picture the #teamfollowback people alone at the computer,holding pep rallies, awarding spirit sticks and cartwheeling w/ ea. new follow
I didn't make it to church for Easter so like the Toddler and Tiara girls do, "I'm gonna jack my hair up to Jesus" instead.