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  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    Tweets are better read than said.

    • 134
    • FAVS
    JasonMata1swollenvoiceH1MaintenanceTequilaTearsjkramblesStephenBCramerdannydogmouthglobetrottgirl
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    I saved people’s lives by not becoming a doctor.

    • 119
    • FAVS
    JasonMata1xunglamH1MaintenanceStephenBCramerJasmineIsSillydannydogmouthKouklamichelledreewijaya
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    Albert_InloveluiseduardohdDBwiddaDBfavstar1000favsAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    Guys, and I’ve said this before, but seriously, my mom? I’m afraid the joke’s on YOU.

    • 111
    • FAVS
    JasonMata1H1MaintenanceTequilaTearsStephenBCramerdannydogmouthbuck4ittmatttuffsnickuous
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    So tired you can barely move your fingers to type something kind of clever? There's a nap for that.

    • 69
    • FAVS
    C_VilelaStephenBCramerdannydogmouthbuck4ittmatttufflinanneblackkkilimniktweetofclay
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    From my lack of tweets I realize I'm more of an observer than a tweeter. I'm pretty sure this applies to my social life as well...

    • 72
    • FAVS
    H1MaintenanceTequilaTearsStephenBCramerdannydogmouthbuck4ittmatttuffkkilimniktweetofclay
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Avatar_unknown_48
  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    If you wanna star me, don't take it back. It hurts my feelings. Think long and hard before you star me and- HAHAHALONGANDHARD OK UN-STAR ME.

    • 66
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerdannydogmouthbuck4ittmatttufffoodandwhininglinanneblackWhooBooLoukkilimnik
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Avatar_unknown_48
  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    I can’t wait until I hear the words “Seacrest OUT. Of the closet.”

    • 61
    • FAVS
    klikekyleMelissDemeanorcameronmwoodGeniusAquarius1miniASHwee________vxlkdonniStephenBCramer
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    luckycartelthelibra1210______tatetot3theclarinatdonni
  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    I don’t eat red meat. Those poor Native Americans have suffered enough already.

    • 55
    • FAVS
    TequilaTearskaaaabsScottLanfordchuckt808Jamilllah________iCJJarviserikazillaLandon_Bropez
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    earlsweatsockskaaaabsFavstar500Favsguy_gatenbyLandon_BropezOddballAngelmateriyoloomjocke
  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    I folded a fitted sheet. Then Brad Pitt showed up and we made out. And then FUCKING DiCaprio showed up.

    • 62
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerdannydogmouthbuck4ittmatttuffsnickuousJustAmy13ThoughtsUnborn____randomisms
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Avatar_unknown_48
  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    Conan O'Brien just got paid $45 million to quit his job. And with that, he's become Twitter's new hero.

    • 56
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerdannydogmouthbuck4ittmatttufflinanneblackDavedebruyne______rodney_at_largeDeconile
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    And I was like "OMG these bitches are so judgemental" and he was like "Ma’am, this is a church".

    • 52
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerdannydogmouthbuck4ittmatttuffglobetrottgirlASCIIalicelinanneblackDeconile
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsAvatar_unknown_48
  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    WHO DO I HAVE TO BLOW TO GET SOME RESPECT AROUND HERE?!

    • 48
    • FAVS
    TequilaTearsStephenBCramerdannydogmouthbuck4ittmatttuffASCIIalicetweetofclayDjJazzyJeffro
  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    To seem rich, I keep my wallet feeling heavy by asking for my change in change.

    • 47
    • FAVS
    TequilaTearsStephenBCramerdannydogmouthbuck4ittmatttuffsnickuousASCIIaliceThatsAFakeLaugh__
  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    Birds right now: "DEATH TO AMERICA"
    And you just KNOW how they're going to get their revenge.

    • 46
    • FAVS
    TequilaTearsStephenBCramerdannydogmouthbuck4ittmatttuffsnickuousThoughtsUnborn____beingtheo________
  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    It scares me that we now live in a world where it's necessary to write the word 'true' before 'fact'.

    • 45
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerdannydogmouthbuck4ittmatttuffYvettelientjeac_moneyrandomismslinanneblack
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Avatar_unknown_48
  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    I despise you, but I'm not in despise with you.

    • 43
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerdannydogmouthmatttufflinanneblackkkilimnikOhReallyRach______metafrothWittyClitty
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Avatar_unknown_48
  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    Guys, if you only star the tweets you read on Favstar, you're doing it wrong.

    • 42
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerdannydogmouthmatttufflinanneblackcerebralbeefRebound_GirlmetafrothWittyClitty
  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    I met a guy who said he sometimes eats ice cream sandwiches for lunch. We've eloped.

    • 42
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerdannydogmouthmatttufflinanneblackWhooBooLouDjJazzyJeffrometafrothWittyClitty
  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    Just had a conversation with my mother only dogs could hear.

    • 40
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerdannydogmouthmatttuffsnickuousderekasaurusASCIIalicerandomismslinanneblack
    Capsaholic
  • TelehoIic
      Teleholic @TelehoIic

    Me: "It's nice to see an old face."
    Her: "We've never met before."
    Me: "I know."

    You people are ruining my social skills.

    I like it.

    • 40
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerdannydogmouthmatttufflinanneblackWhooBooLouwwwestymetafrothWittyClitty
@TelehoIic

@TelehoIic

I'll never be as funny as the greats but goddammit I have the right to keep pathetically trying. My twitter niche is 'resident tv addict' and proud OF it.