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Just failed at opening cheese, moved on to tequila...succeeded. Pretty sure I won this round.
Yup so far more ass wiping than life saving
Super soakers: the new way to wash patients!
Nobody puts an IV needle in their neck by accident
After much inner debate with the voices I have decided that a glass of red wine is classier than tequila shots at 7am
Vasal vagal or huge shit? That's how my Saturday night is going
Everyone is having kittens around here, and I've run out of plastic bags to suffocate them all in!
After repeats attempts to start this day, can I just go back to bed and call it a day?
Off to snatch some lives from the jaws of death, or maybe just clean up shitty asses
Just can not make some co-workers happy, it could be raining skittles and they would complain!
Management asked if they could help me use less sick time, why yes give me more vacation and I wouldn't have to phone in sick
Studying ACLS which translates to hanging out on Twitter, so now I can't save lives but I can give a pretty good description of male anatomy
Me to student. I don't care how many ways you tell me I'm pretty I'm still not teaching you ECG interpretation at 3 in the morning.
Why the fuck did Mother Nature turn off the heat? Bitch
The bottle of petite petite for breakfast has now left me with a not so petite headache for supper
Oh good it's Saturday night and I get to peddle drugs, Ativan, seroquel, zopiclone etc. The glamorous life of an RN
Knew I should have quit today. I don't think the doctors know that I already tried to vote myself off this island!