Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
My house is pretty messy right now. If I was to die, Police would probably say there were "signs of a struggle".
Sad? Try farting into a funnel. Still sad? Try again. Still sad? Go fuck yourself.
In Texas pot = a ticket but hash = a felony. What's the big dif? It's like saying if you only hump each other slowly, you aren't having sex.
Taking acid must suck for the colour blind... "Wow, man... Look at all the grey!"
I held a magnifying glass up to my asshole and the light shining out of it was so intense as to burn paper!
Researchers have discovered that morphine impairs drivers. What's next? Research 10 more years to discover that meth is bad for your teeth?
Faced both the cool and rude of the new generation of comedians tonight... It's amazing how respect seems to go hand in hand with talent.
They have "watermelon juice". Why? Just chew the watermelon slice, you lazy fuck!
Instead of mosquito repellant, I rub shit all over myself. I have found that mosquitoes don't like to compete with flies.
Cheryl and I are en route to Edinburgh, Scotland!
Now Veterans know that when they come home they'll have a spot waiting for them to work at Wal-Mart. This tweet sounds like a joke.
A dude walked into a store yelling, "Where the sexy girls at?"while 2 folks in electric wheelchairs raced in front of Dollarama. #shroomcast