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Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
If your cooler than me, doesn't that make me hotter than you?
This "make me a sandwich" comment is getting old!! FUCK!
If you were a great fuck I wouldn't be able to move to make you a damn sandwich!
Pretty doesn't hide stupid.
The top ten reasons why masturbation is better than sex:
I childproofed my house......but they still manage to get in.
A bad personality can make even the most attractive person ugly.
I wanna choke you out.
With my legs wrapped around your neck.
I need coffee and a orgasm.
And not necessarily in that order.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
You're blocking my view!
Someone needs to invent a child-proof lock that can be placed on the pants of stupid people.
If you were a squirrel I'd let you bust a nut in my hole.
I consider sex a misdemeanor, the more I miss it the meaner I get.
The first rule of The Twitter Club:
1) THERE ARE NO RULES! :)
Be polite to everyone, but intimate with few.
I don't want to Rise and Grind....I want to Stay and Lay!!
I had to tell him.......
Please tell your pants it's rude to point;)
I woke up with a headache, who wants to rub my forehead?
It's not an excuse, if you want to rub your penis on my forehead that works too!
One of these days i am going to have morning sex.
With someone besides myself.
Shhhh......I'm naked under my clothes.
ADVANCE WARNING: Don't mess with me!! I know Karate, Kung Fu, Judo, Tae Kwon do, Ju-Jitsu, n 14 other dangerous words!