If you're holding a Starbucks coffee while complaining about paying $3.75 a gallon for gas, this conversation is over.

Looking to hire a part time or full time delivery driver to cover metro Houston. Please DM me for more info. Thanks, RT's help as well!

This guy, at Tiny Boxwoods... http://t.co/oZ47y3Q9

You can always judge someone by how they talk to their waiter.

$200 buck chuck #texsom http://t.co/rqGMHmAw

My sleep number is Sauternes.

Just had espresso that was so bad it played bass for Jefferson Starship.

Peep Show #happyeaster http://t.co/UrgbhS7o

Water covers 72% of the Earth. The rest is covered by LSU's secondary.

Meursault in California. Believe it. One of the best domestic chards I've ever tasted.  http://instagr.am/p/RYtdi7m7rJ/ 

Whoa, house just rumbled, massive roaring. Ran outside to see the NASA Shuttle Endeavour flyover (very low), #MERICA http://t.co/jEaGLdpo

RIP these two, brave women. #Raiders http://t.co/LwHs4xa7

Notes of shame, regret, Rottweilers tied to tires and Kraft Macaroni & Cheese  http://instagr.am/p/WDT1Eum7nO/ 

In 24hrs I'll be celebrating a Cowboys loss.

My safe word is Pomerol.

Two Monday's in one week, and a hangover to boot. Thanks America.

The gospel according to whiskey RT @whiskeydisks: The Bow Tie: How to Tie One On http://t.co/uTf8h86o

Whenever someone asks my age now I just tell them "Foo Fighters"

The five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Gas prices are absurd. Thankfully I run on espresso and champagne.