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I'm working on being a nicer person. Did that sound sincere?
People think it's weird I let my puppy kiss me on the lips. I don't see her as a dog, she's my baby & she can kiss me whenever she wants.
I'm the Kanye West of comedy.
Why don't we go back to when you had to have a talent to be on TV?
I've decided I no longer want to be gay. I'm giving my two week notice tomorrow.
If your first instinct is to call the cops we probably aren't a good match.
Hey guys and gals, if I ever say I don't wanna do something, I just don't wanna do it. Don't try to guilt or pressure me into it.
Everybody is offended by EVERYTHING LATELY. I just assume sensitive bitches need some dick in their lives. This goes for male and female.
I'm an openly gay comedian. But comedy is just a ruse my real goal in life is to become a hero to overprivileged white women the world over.
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