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"I think they call themselves feminists because weak talentless bitch sounded too wordy" -Thai Rivera on feminist "comics"
Some people call it regifting, I call it, giving away shit I never wanted in the first place. You're right, regifting sounds better.
I'm working on being a nicer person. Did that sound sincere?
People think it's weird I let my puppy kiss me on the lips. I don't see her as a dog, she's my baby & she can kiss me whenever she wants.
I'm the Kanye West of comedy.
Why don't we go back to when you had to have a talent to be on TV?
I bitch a bit but I'm so ridiculously happy with my life right now and have been for a good minute :-D
HOLLYWOOD!!! TONIGHT!!! https://twitter.com/thecomedystore/status/734875020892110849 …
Hope you all had a safe St Paddy's day!!! I drove to AZ and just got back to my Mommy's house from the gym ❤️❤️❤️❤️
You can be smarter than a monkey but that's not gonna stop it from ripping your balls off.
Just had a Chinese dude in Lee Jeans give me attitude. This must be what losing feels like.
Doing my best every day to make the world a less feeling place. Fuck your feelings I deal in facts and logic. Find your apologies elsewhere.
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