Popular Recent Faved By Given
Friends: 665
Followers: 1,298
Favs Given: 5,530
Favs Rec'd: 18,094
@Thaozilla's (Thao ) most faved Tweets...
Thaozilla
Hey, don't call me creepy, I was hiding here with a camera way BEFORE you came in and started pooping.
@Thaozilla
Thaozilla
Kids, I want you all to remember this: there's always semen in amusement.
@Thaozilla
Thaozilla
It doesn't snow where I live, but I still could use a little plowing.
@Thaozilla
Thaozilla
It's going to be an awkward Thanksgiving.My boyfriend is coming over. My parents don't like him that much. Neither does my husband.
@Thaozilla
Thaozilla
Question that made my Sunday teacher mad: "Which part of Jesus am I eating?"
@Thaozilla
Thaozilla
Like the rest of my fellow Americans, I associate Glade with the smell of shit.
@Thaozilla
Thaozilla
I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Valentine's Day. He answered for my husband to die.
@Thaozilla
Thaozilla
Having a husband is like having an enemy with benefits.
@Thaozilla
Thaozilla
"If you think my boobs are huge, you should see my penis." #howtoloseaguyin10seconds
@Thaozilla
Thaozilla
Bad: running into my ex-boyfriend.
Worse: running into my ex-boyfriend wearing the same dress as I am
@Thaozilla
Thaozilla
So desperate for some action, I might just crash a frat party and roofie my own drink tonight.
@Thaozilla
Thaozilla
Happily married to a handsome man, mother to 3 beautiful children. Ok, I lied. I'm single and barren and live with a shitload of cats.
@Thaozilla
Thaozilla
Being a woman has its disadvantage, for instance, I can't jack off my eggs into a cup for $100.
@Thaozilla
Thaozilla
Oh yea, well, my breasts squirt chocolate milk. Who's the better mother now? Bitch.
@Thaozilla
Thaozilla
Don't get your panties in a wad, I didn't call you a beast, I called you "obese."
@Thaozilla
Thaozilla
My boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago. I'm coping pretty well. Just sitting here watching Lifetime and drinking nacho cheese.
@Thaozilla
Thaozilla
My grandma warned that boys only want one thing from me. So I hid my PlayStation 3.
@Thaozilla
Thaozilla
I'm so fucking sick of you guys making Asian-lady stereotypes. Now shut up so I can get back to my nail salon.
@Thaozilla
Thaozilla
In some Middle Eastern countries I am worth 3 camels and a goat.
@Thaozilla
Thaozilla
"You sick fuck!" is considered a compliment in my book.
@Thaozilla
Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar