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Last nights halftime show was the worst episode of "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers" ever.
Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton’s phones were hacked and nudes were leaked.
8.31.2014 Never Forget
A geneologist looks up your family tree and a gynecologist looks up your bush.
To err is human, to arr is pirate.
Tim Tebow: Most talked about white Bronco since O.J.
I put the 'baby' in the babysitter...
Don't tell my wife.
My iPhone auto corrects "I want BK for dinner" to "I want bj for dinner." It truly knows me
If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
Dear Ellen Degeneres,
Thanks for giving $1 million to feed starving dogs.
Lady Gaga is a constant reminder that erections have consequences.
Eagles QB Michael Vick wants a dog, I also hear OJ Simpson wanted to take another stab at marriage.
Just to think, if OJ Simpson hadn't murdered those people, Kim Kardashian would be a waitress at a Denny's somewhere.
This stream of consciousness has been brought to you by heavy doses of RedBull, Starbucks and sarcasm from The Chosen people.
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