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If you place a dryer sheet between your butt cheeks, your farts won't stink. #stuffiheard @chickmcgee1 @bobandtom
@chickmcgee1 @bobandtom Thought you guys would enjoy this http://twitpic.com/2yyy4i
I'm married and don't care to discuss my sex life but the last time I had a piece of ass was when my finger busted through the toilet paper.
The only thing I hate about #TheRiver is the build up of suspense that goes into a Home Depot commercial.
I'm thinking of opening a restaurant that serves chicken and turkey exclusively and calling it Cock Gobblers.
Moreno purchased the #Angels for $180 mil and will now pay #Pujols $225 mil. Why not just give him the team and a couple years of profits?
REM will hit the residual lottery tomorrow when It's the End of the World as We Know it gets played on every radio station around the world.
Watching people buy Ho-Ho's, Ding Dongs and Twinkies by the cart full makes this fat guy proud. (@ Mid Towne IGA) http://4sq.com/UJY0f8
It's so cold in this building today that when I turned abruptly my nipples nearly knocked my monitor off of my desk.
Today has been a great day already - would love to celebrate with many beers but I have a laundry list if todo's after work.
Marriage is an institution. It's a commitment. And you don't get to leave an institution, especially once you're committed.
if @favstar is the new high school and starring tweets is a popularity indicator - I must be a neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie.
Found something more boring than watching poker on tv, listening to guys on the radio talk about poker on tv.
Major plane crash last night - the plane crashed directly into a cemetery. 5,000 bodies have already been recovered from the crash site.
Come check out my #Instacanvas gallery...browse & buy my Instagram artwork. http://instacanv.as/thatmofoto via @instacnvs
DANGER! Having your foot run over may cause you to dance wit @ Lambert-St. Louis International Airport (STL) http://instagr.am/p/U7v-Ers3a1/
Sitting alone in a bar playing @buzztime - I always win when I play with myself.
sayer of funny (some times), listener of music, maker of babies, drinker of beer and all around good guy. mo's official page.