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  • Marlebean
      Marlebean @Marlebean

    [Punishing my kid]

    You go to your room!
    And think about what you've done,
    bc someone already joked about that
    AND MOMMY NEEDS NEW MATERIAL!

    • 269
    • LIKES
    sheepandrobotslaraleighmSir_Pricedi_wasnt_lookingKwissyWuvJediMasterJamsptoothfishContwixt
    • 125
    • RETWEETS
    V_eronica19oim1ru12laurenmccoidMrEd_EVHvahsiNgirlontapasContwixtFavstar250
    That_Damn_Duckhowistuck
  • Hello___Bella
      Bella @Hello___Bella

    I like you.

    Stay away from me.

    • 143
    • LIKES
    SweetlyDefiantBnthnutnutSammyJB121Just_YouAiDreamof_UCharpichuclean_not_soberBearded_Chemist
    • 85
    • RETWEETS
    FalconFast_2012stormwhite7iDreamof_Uclean_not_soberMonaJean31motorace177ScottwB42skinart3020
    That_Damn_Duck
  • envydatropic
      EnvyDaTropic™ @envydatropic

    Your false Internet validation won't get you anywhere in life

    ~Inspirational

    • 222
    • LIKES
    4ilayalijaggdtoastrNotInThoseWordsdon_haworthT_Bonezzz__life_suckerhutch3713EBenita0517
    • 162
    • RETWEETS
    zeekedgegiagiakaapascal_ThaJawnGabitahMXneurocandy_Marcmywords2jaggdtoastr
    That_Damn_Duckcalluptome
  • ktothekfuckoff
      K @ktothekfuckoff

    Don't pretend like social media didn't change you too, motherfuckers.

    • 84
    • LIKES
    userperdad__SDPlissken1EVILnSHITSingleGirlAlertD_Train99oldsoulVwilliamsonnierDouchekevin
    • 51
    • RETWEETS
    SingleGirlAlertD_Train99DouchekevinPee_And_GigglesJoanCrunkidameekshaLoveYoorFatepupbroofdog
    That_Damn_Duck
  • MoneypennyNaked
      Miss Moneypenny @MoneypennyNaked

    Sex is like when a magician pulls a rabbit out of a hat. You never know when it's going to appear.
    I think.
    I don't understand sex or magic.

    • 166
    • LIKES
    itsmetrbRoomtravellerninjadinosaur1BechemottIcyPepsi4Medavid_tullThe_MartiniGirlSecureSam
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    itsmetrbninjadinosaur1carlosmolotovIcyPepsi4Medavid_tullCuddleYourCatjokercasm_SecureSam
    That_Damn_Duck
  • Lexi__Alexandra
      Lexi @Lexi__Alexandra

    Thank God you tweeted about your psychiatrist & psyche meds again, like your tweets weren't enough to remind us you have a spastic's brain.

    • 41
    • LIKES
    BirdhummsStillJessLS1_swarthy_dudeluvmyADHDscrogbubblesMadamBetteNoireEoisit17duece
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    SingleGirlAlertJoanCrunkid17dueceasm0080immarvintaborgreneehays__OGSeventy7L337I57
    That_Damn_Duck
  • PLATINUM2000
      CRYSTAL KAY @PLATINUM2000

    Pardon me, but I thought you'd like to know that your subtweets contradict your actual tweets.

    You're welcome.

    • 94
    • LIKES
    FlyJ_KontraZlaStillJessLSmae_marskcmoore51MagsWoodwardjumpdasharkviolet_heartin
    • 49
    • RETWEETS
    FlyJ_kcmoore51refinedrednec__DjJazzyJeffroTheHatdogLoveNLunchmeatcalsquaredp4perd0ll_
    That_Damn_Duck
  • Sadgirl4u
      LadyShark @Sadgirl4u

    Is your shit show over with??

    I need to make dinner

    • 27
    • LIKES
    Virgin_Boxkcmoore51StillJessLSrandomlady74NolaChef504ednitionCelebrityChezDawnLovesZombie
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    Virgin_BoximmarvintaborSivitaryThat_Damn_DuckKMADrunnernotorious_ipa818Newbiereczit
    That_Damn_Duck
  • TheMichaelRock
      Rock @TheMichaelRock

    SAY PUPPY MONKEY BABY ONE MORE TIME, MOTHERFUCKER!

    • 114
    • LIKES
    AJslackieTonicKittyStillJessLSMiss_Kim_Hcranky_unfun_1cuntyfruitbatserjohnson0320kcmoore51
    • 37
    • RETWEETS
    kcmoore51thisisterrifyinheatherjsFinalAdventureKhimberlyCatonsarah1mcNolaChef504Ms_WhateverV
    That_Damn_Duck
  • notfunnysarah
      sarah @notfunnysarah

    I wish someone could love me as much as you love thinking every subtweet is about you.

    • 48
    • LIKES
    aKhalifa101AJslackieDash_of_Crazy__DontTouchMyWineCelebrityChezDawnLovesZombieperchicoreeTiny_Tan_Tatted
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    HaroldParkHotelImagineCrazy0_0perchicoreeBoogiequn4everTiny_Tan_TattedMommysOnValiumCockydudeprobsMarcmywords2
    That_Damn_Duck
  • Vodkantots
      Vodka n Tots @Vodkantots

    Shut up, self-help books.

    I'll hate myself if I want to.

    • 240
    • LIKES
    ContwixtAJslackiemary_kritikosJimmy_NapkinsLuvPugpr77345bourgeoisalienagathagotstoned
    • 157
    • RETWEETS
    LambaRitutui_malilaContwixtJimmy_NapkinsFreudianscriptagathagotstonedPereMassaKeroNotorio
    That_Damn_Duck
  • _NTFG_
      333 Natsack @_NTFG_

    *raises hand

    "Yes young lady in the front."

    - says the obviously blind dude speaker who's gunna get a blowjob after this seminar now.

    • 94
    • LIKES
    MilfordtheDudeZZeitgeiststhebeachygirlDarkPutschPieChordClydeSteelE_lok44Fivetwotwo
    • 38
    • RETWEETS
    MilfordtheDudeZZeitgeiststhebeachygirlDarkPutschPieChordE_lok44Fivetwotwobarfolishus
    That_Damn_Duck
  • CelebrityChez
      Chez McCorvey @CelebrityChez

    Fun fact: Every person that doesn't wear a jean jacket into Hooters gets fucked by an owl.

    • 93
    • LIKES
    abbycohenwlPressOneForNosquirrel74wkgnAJslackie_jennjennTangledM3ssiGreenMonkmywhackeduplife
    • 36
    • RETWEETS
    BrandonFord5squirrel74wkgnTangledM3ssiGreenMonkheatherlou_jaxon_wolfefuzzlimetmoswole
    That_Damn_Duck
  • Celestinelea90
      FleurDeLea @Celestinelea90

    There is no creature less objective than the mother who thinks her 4th grader is a 'model'

    • 126
    • LIKES
    ohitskellzzzkcmoore51_NTFG_Ooh_RayEoisitSolelyBrevengeofAAWMichaelC
    • 37
    • RETWEETS
    kcmoore51wimothyjoseph_NTFG_dreadnaught69notmargot663jenyb4jrza84aaravbasumatary
    That_Damn_Duck
  • TrueTorontoGirl
      Baked Potato @TrueTorontoGirl

    I will heckle you during sex if you're not doing me right.

    • 133
    • LIKES
    Scud_ViciousLynothonascaleof1210davebenton27JTQuestThe_MartiniGirlMudvilleOutlookadams6110
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    JoanCrunkidonascaleof1210davebenton27RadioTMIDontTouchMyWineEllierocks2013Thy_SikANDERdoctorjanin
    That_Damn_Duck
  • Marcmywords2
      Marcmywords @Marcmywords2

    I will not like you in a tree
    I will not like you out at sea
    I will not like you in a brook
    I will not like you on Facebook

    • 225
    • LIKES
    DoneEffedUpPee_And_GigglesF_ScottTaftTony_McFaddenbitched_upalldrolledupCourtneyGorbetsaturnagirl
    • 150
    • RETWEETS
    Pee_And_Gigglespensive1Tony_McFaddenalldrolledupnathanlymanblacksheepbob67StLHandyManno_ones_vicitm
    alldrolledupThat_Damn_Duck
  • sarah1mc
      Trophy Knife @sarah1mc

    I'm not saying you're an idiot,
    I'm typing it.

    • 888
    • LIKES
    shizanne10ericonederfulGlassToTh3Arsonsf14JohnnyNopolisJusatanoldguyAnnoyedGruntxJoeCoolNJ
    • 593
    • RETWEETS
    perfect_boxxJoeCoolNJAllyBallyBealportayoloMasterOfFurystasiakeitajunaidified__scarletcar21
    That_Damn_Duck
  • _theigirl
      Ambivileah @_theigirl

    When I see someone I love mistreated - every "sweet" thing about me disappears. And then people find out just how ruthless I can be.

    • 38
    • LIKES
    AJslackieumerriaz0Arshi_AnwarGcinaLawrenceAL_diablosmina_loi__iGreenMonkrandom_tammie
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    Arshi_AnwarquinxsquaddAL_diablosiGreenMonkrandom_tammieshezabhirojesusEllierocks2013
    That_Damn_Duck
  • AnitaHelmet
      Anita Helmet @AnitaHelmet

    Sex advice on Twitter is great...assuming you never fuck anyone who has actually had sex and knows better.

    • 90
    • LIKES
    baciivLanieLalaBugsgad_mikhaelthatsassyjagoffPhook75kcmoore51tweetmelovely_1MondayPajamas
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    WhiskeyandBLanieLalaBugsqydoyougrokG5Phook75kcmoore51tweetmelovely_1MondayPajamasNoLeHacex3
    That_Damn_Duck
  • MartaEffing
      Marta Effing Ketchup @MartaEffing

    If you're constantly trying to fit a round peg in a square hole, you might wanna ask yourself, 'why is my gf's vagina shaped like a square?'

    • 87
    • LIKES
    FancyNancyAnnRRWillicaNoompsyDahlingRdrJay47GinaRitterMidtonJoedoktorjsock_holliday
    • 57
    • RETWEETS
    NoompsyDahlingRdrJay47doktorjsock_hollidayLoveNLunchmeatjuneohara65AsgardianRoseEllierocks2013
    That_Damn_Duck

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@That_Damn_Duck

@That_Damn_Duck

A horrible person, sarcasm specialist & part-time photographer. The Snuggle bear needs to die. Instagram / Flickr same name. I've been blocked by @snooki.

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