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[Punishing my kid]
You go to your room!
And think about what you've done,
bc someone already joked about that
AND MOMMY NEEDS NEW MATERIAL!
I like you.
Stay away from me.
Your false Internet validation won't get you anywhere in life
Don't pretend like social media didn't change you too, motherfuckers.
Sex is like when a magician pulls a rabbit out of a hat. You never know when it's going to appear.
I don't understand sex or magic.
Thank God you tweeted about your psychiatrist & psyche meds again, like your tweets weren't enough to remind us you have a spastic's brain.
Pardon me, but I thought you'd like to know that your subtweets contradict your actual tweets.
Is your shit show over with??
I need to make dinner
SAY PUPPY MONKEY BABY ONE MORE TIME, MOTHERFUCKER!
I wish someone could love me as much as you love thinking every subtweet is about you.
Shut up, self-help books.
I'll hate myself if I want to.
"Yes young lady in the front."
- says the obviously blind dude speaker who's gunna get a blowjob after this seminar now.
Fun fact: Every person that doesn't wear a jean jacket into Hooters gets fucked by an owl.
There is no creature less objective than the mother who thinks her 4th grader is a 'model'
I will heckle you during sex if you're not doing me right.
I will not like you in a tree
I will not like you out at sea
I will not like you in a brook
I will not like you on Facebook
I'm not saying you're an idiot,
I'm typing it.
When I see someone I love mistreated - every "sweet" thing about me disappears. And then people find out just how ruthless I can be.
Sex advice on Twitter is great...assuming you never fuck anyone who has actually had sex and knows better.
If you're constantly trying to fit a round peg in a square hole, you might wanna ask yourself, 'why is my gf's vagina shaped like a square?'
A horrible person, sarcasm specialist & part-time photographer. The Snuggle bear needs to die. Instagram / Flickr same name. I've been blocked by @snooki.
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