Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I spend an awful lot of time analyzing my lack of Twitter success...
I plan is to get so drunk that I'm actually rooting for one of those football teams today.
I just spit out my toothpaste; it created a bubble that floated away. Probably the most miraculous thing I'll experience all day.
Ate half a pan of monkey bread. I'm done trying new things that taste good.
"You're so funny on Twitter!" Aw gee thanks then maybe you could actually FAVORITE MY TWEETS?! HAHAAAA JUST KIDDING IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME.
Happy impersonal group text day!
Ahh gotta have the token teardrop tattoo guy.
My parents called today and told me to get more sleep, stop pushing myself and take a day off of work. WHAT FANTASY WORLD DO YOU LIVE IN?
I've used the word "crevasse" more times today than I'd like to.
How much cheese is too much cheese? Two blocks? Three??
Wanna race babies?
Scavenging my carpet for dinner.
Hasta la vista, bagel.
Can Sims die? I haven't fed it in like 3 months. I'll just get a dog.
Eat 'til I poop, then eat again.
After the delivery guy knocks on the door, I count to 3 so he doesn't know I've been standing there since he pulled up.