Pretty sure if you told 1-800 flowers to put "What time R you due back on whore island?" on ur Valentine, you may just want to not go home.

#FF @spdrman59 @elkpga @metricbuttload @cockshittington @crankykaplan @gronknation @katinakarl @patdollard @barbi_twins

I said it before and I'll say it again: I'll chip in a couple hundy for the obami U-Haul rental costs if he'll just GTH outta there. #Liar

I miss Uncle Fester (the original, of course). Dude was ALWAYS blowin' sh~t up and wreckin the basement. Way Cool.

There are very few things that a Caterpillar D10 can't 'fix'. Check that. 'Resolve.'

Get Jay Carney and Vallerie Jarret out there to hold the umbrellas and NOT the United States Marine Corp.

I think the translator is actually reading one of the Hardy Boys mysteries.

I sure hope someone is working on some Ronnie Reagan DNA for a good cloning.

@cheryedavis Well here ya go!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLTdQCFd-dw …

Pretty damn comical that obami came to Texas to 'school' us on job creation. Dude, we are freakin' leading the nation DESPITE you, ya moron!

This NEVER gets old either:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocJ1GTnmO-w … #WARFoghornLeghorn

My guess is that Iranian President Ahmadinejad was arrested b/c his leisure suit had just too many polys per square inch for cultural okay.

Shout out to my dentist who has brainwashed me into reg flossing. Last night I reeled in a celery string & tomato seed as big as a 57 Chevy.

I'll leave you tweeps with one parting (partying?) shot, from our friends over at Wally World:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghrDIQ-K8mg&NR=1&feature=fvwp …

If Lumber Liquidators actually did their job, then wouldn't they effectively now be OUT of business?

I just wonder how many hobos have been into their local ACE Hardware stores to pick up their 'must have' travel hatchets? #SUUMASH!

Gotta budge. Time to make some money. Baby needs a new pair of shoes! Late.

NOT on my bucket list and will continue NOT to be: Getting on the back of a big muscled up bull with his nuts in an uncomfortable sling.

"The Brooklyn Islanders" just doesn't have the same RING to it.

@tonyhuddleston @noreenr1 @glenenloe @brentyvan @schwiggles @brava10 @dneby @tom19803 @marilynduley !Muchas Gracias!