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@rufushound Niece then aged 3, had a toy dog. My bloke pretends its savaged him & 'dies'. She picked it up, stroked it & says "Good dog".
#ireadthedailymail because I like to be constantly reminded that everything is going to give me cancer
RT @porksmith: RT @stephen_ebert: A fox! A fox on my bloody tube. http://t.co/gm7sJLYN
I like that they've given the job to Pope Benny's partner in the restaurant business, Pope Frankie
Okay, if you haven't drunk cold custard from the carton as though it were milk, you're a liar
RT @bigsexyneil: Here's a picture of a horse wearing jeans. You're welcome. http://t.co/H0FaKjoO
@rhodri We once had a special assembly where we had to write a contract promising we wouldn't get into fights at school.
Lee Nelson and Abz from 5ive (Fiveive). A fight to the death and the winner gets thrown off a cliff.
Bra wire in the washing machine. I'm recording this noise and releasing it as a new Aphex Twin song
RT @dmreporter: CELEBRITY: Katie Holmes files for divorce, citing 'irreconcilable homosexuality'.
RT @sixthformpoet: Q: What could possibly be more boring than England vs Ukraine? A: Adrian Chiles and Gareth Southgate talking about it.
Dear BBC3, please stop giving Lee Nelson TV shows. He's shit and about as funny as an axe to the fucking face. Love and kisses, Tara xx
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