3 Heads and a Little Penis #DahmersFridgeFilms

Ever get that feeling where you think someone is right behind you? http://t.co/CiFEQm6D

I just saved another school kids life as he tried to cross the street texting. Not that Im keeping score, but that's #3 Lord. Remember it.

In my pefect world, a finger can not poke through toilet paper.

::Pours fresh juice on the floor:: R.I.P. Jack LaLanne

Anyone want the red Starbursts? I don't understand you cherry loving weirdos.

Sometimes it pays to be the mailman. Gifts from an old lady. http://t.co/SRe0r8s4

I have to remember, when I see an elderly man in a suit not to ask "looking good, where you headed?" 98% of the time they reply "a funeral"

Tru tv, where fat people go to be on television.

Here's how everyone can help the postal service get more revenue. http://twitpic.com/35x2v6

These hispanic countries are trapping more miners than John Wayne Gacy.

I hope that's Batman... http://twitpic.com/2t8m6d

@ronniebquotes Why dont you write one of those sweetheart poems, of sunsets and angel dust.

Hey, give Leo a break, the BQE is a shit show

Alright, who thought about the stay puft marshmallow man?

Mick Jaggers head accounts for 65% of his body weight. #121212concert

My favorite Christmas/Date Rape song "Baby Its Cold Outside - Bing Crosby & Doris Day" on YouTube  http://bit.ly/Xby9xe 

Recreational Marijuana is legal in Colorado and I'm going to be there in 2 weeks... FUCK YEAH!

Beautiful view of the Brooklyn bridge and Freedom tower. #Brooklyn #Dumbo http://t.co/mOjThjUK

They finally bottled Jesus juice... http://t.co/1yc5m2D6