Does OU still suck? Our scientists have built this website to help answer this difficult question --> .http://t.co/HMQowKYn

This news really hits me hard RT @perezhilton: Chris Brown & Rihanna Are OVER! Read Breezy's Own Sad Words HERE!  http://perez.ly/10nxneg 

These are the secret #SXSW parties that you WANT to RSVP to. Timberlake, Skrillex, Clapton... check out my list -  http://bit.ly/Y0smGL 

This is a huge government conspiracy. They are attempting to eradicate the only post apocalypse food source we’ll have. #hostess #twinkie

I support marriage equality but saying that here doesn't matter - most backwoods rednecks, fundamentalists and old people don't have twitter

PLEASE keep an eye out for a black miniature Dachshund in the Hyde Park area. Friend's dog who disappeared yesterday. 9lbs, 7 years old

Shut the fuck up about gun control. For it, against it, I don't care. Can we please go back to cat pictures?

Happy Cinco De Mayo http://t.co/5fSopyOS

Please, with all the tiny little might in your fingers, re-tweet the link to our latest podcast: http://t.co/KXyimiJB #spreadtheDark

Did you know that without bees, we wouldn't have any food? We would basically have to eat each other. And I guess cows and pigs. Or fish.

Don't #prayforWest. That doesn't do anything. Go donate blood.

This is my 8,008 tweet. That spells BOOB. #boob #tweet

Let's debate about something that matters: Cats vs Dogs. Personally, I think cats suck. Their owners house always smells like pee.

Please RT if you hate it when people ask you to RT stuff.

Ladies, if you are listening, please repost (dudes too). http://t.co/BWLUjos8

Congrats @mrbobbybones on his 36th straight AWM award. http://t.co/kXpTpgdQ

The good thing about the world ending in 2012 is that it will also be the end of American Idol and the people who watch that show.

IRS, TABC and FBI are raiding the Twin Liquors corporate office which means tonight is the best time to loot their stores.

Great news! Mumford and Sons will be coming to Austin to play their one song again, again, and again, and again and over again and again…

A #sxsw disco nap is when you stop by the hotel to do some blow