RETWEET and see what happens! ██████████████████████████████​ ██████████████████████████████​ ██████████████████████████████

Ghetto word of the day: Bishop. My girlfriend fell down, so I picked that bishop.

Your ex asking to be friends after a break up is like... Kidnappers asking you to "keep in touch" after letting you go.

R-T this to fuck with peoples timeline





















.




























.















































.

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: "Jim's whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe."

A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.

2,800 teenage girls get pregnant everyday. Retweet if you like pancakes.

TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE WHORE you're at school, not Jersey Shore. you're a slutty, orange mess PLEASE GO FIND A LONGER DRESS.

RETWEET and see what happens! ██████████████████████████████​ ██████████████████████████████​ ██████████████████████████████

My Vocabulary = 50% swearing, 50% sarcasm.

Shut up bitch, your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

I hate the nerds that cover up their answers.. Like come on, let's work together bro.

Hitting your hip on a corner and feeling like you've been shot.

I don't hate you or anything, but if you were on fire and I had a glass of water, I'd drink it.

I hate it when I'm eating cereal and the last three pieces are like "Bitch, catch me if you can!"

My mouth automatically says "shit" when something wrong happens.

They said the world is going to end this year... Pssh They can barely predict the weather.

5 words that scare the hell out of me in horror movies, "Based on a True story."

I'd slap you, but that might be considered animal abuse.

Kissing a girl on the cheek(good) kissing girl in the mouth (awesome) Kissing girl in front of her ex (boss)