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I laughed because I thought it was funny. I didn't think you were gonna tape it and put it on the Internet. Jesus, it's embarrassing.
And... I sharted. Terrific.
Hey, mom, maybe wanna throw a towel down between me and the changing table at Chili's? No? Right, I'll just roll around in this filth, then.
I completely just whizzed in this bathwater but yes, please, keep squeezing spongefuls of it over my head.
Just so you know, this Baby Einstein video is teaching me sweet fuck all.
Hey, ma, LOVE the new espresso machine. Know what else I'd love? Affording college. But, hey, yeah, enjoy your coffee.
I'd like to explore Dora, if you know what I'm sayin'.
These new Pampers really do the trick, assuming the trick is sending shit straight up my back.
Just so you know, I feel like an asshole in these overalls.