@diplo He was a hero and a thinker. Dead before his time like anyone who dares to go against the grain.

To clarify: Now that you got called out, you aren't. Pussy. Stand by your words, coward. @jimmyontheradio

Based on your comments and that awesome profile pic, it is safe to assume you are a rapist. @romano_santino

@jaymeisterrr das racess

Considering I'm at the tail end of 18 hours of straight drinking, I FEEL GREAT.

Foolishly wandered into hot topic. This country is fucking doomed.

Feeling combative. Going for a run.

Every morning I know I won't be drinking that night. Then that time rolls around and I find myself at Wilson Farms buying a six pack.

Nothing you think is ironic is ironic.

The fatter I get, the more my head resembles a giant potato.

@jaykeays She was embarrassed that she peed herself on tv so she blamed it on a UTI she got from buttsex. #class

@wbcphotos Not that you'd ever it admit it, I know, but do you ever wonder if you're wrong? Even just occasionally.

Pregaming is for folks who haven't thrown up in the sink lately. #alsoonthefloor

@jaykeays I deal in lies and deception.

World peace would be cool and all but I really just wish kombucha were less expensive.

@jaykeays I'm going to end up in @jaelphelps pink cave.

@arthurkade @amyschumer Best passive-aggressive interview I've seen today. God would definitely care about cursing, if only he were real.

Go home Canadians. Ryan Gosling, you can stay.

@thejamesa Funformative tweets.

Adam Mansbach is really ugly. I didn't really like this book, either.