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iPhone 5 $800? Siri better turn into a jet pack when I put it on Airplane Mode.
#BiggestLiesGirlsSay Have Fun- (Have a terrible time without me)
R.I.P. Bill Nye The Science Guy?......... I'm not believing it, Twitter's always killing people.
#WhenIWasAKid Gwen Stefani taught me how to spell bananas
R.I.P Facebook, Tell Myspace I said Hi!
#ThingsWeLearnedOnTwitter if you are ignoring someones texts don't send tweets using your phone.
#DontGoForAGuy who just wants your body.
#MyOctoberWish carve pumpkins, eat candy, watch scary movies, and cold weather! 🎃👻🍭🍬
#StuffThatIHate being stuck behind people who walk slowly.
#ImThePersonWho loves to sleep, but hates going to bed early.
#WhenIWasALittleKid I jumped from couch to couch because the floor was hot lava.
#ThingsThatMakeMeHulkMad when my tweets don't fit the 140 limit >:(
#IHopeSomeday cancer will be cured.
#ReasonsYouCantFindAMan cause you "friend zone" all of them.
#CheatingIsOkayIf killing is okay too.
#SpongebobEpisodeIllNeverForget F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me, N is for anywhere and anytime at all..
I'm not like the other guys, I'm the sweetest asshole you'll ever meet. Little Mons†er BornThisWay Ball January 11th & 12th