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  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    Women are only terrible at parking because we're constantly being lied to about what 9 inches is

    • 825
    • FAVS
    TheAlexNevilloudmouth_usaSkinnieTallsIAmChristopherLAdaLeckenbieroaditravelLittleLostPixiekathy_derosa
    • 498
    • RETWEETS
    TheAlexNevilloudmouth_usaedinamzzCletusHammermuddyestuaryswamimkslifessubatomicHockeyRenegade
    chopper4jkCarmel_ColemanImprobableEddie
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    Meth: Because hillbillies doing chemistry is always a good call.

    • 540
    • FAVS
    RyanRyeBreadDeeeBleezyd28_dirstRazorberry67JLazySAngus13_Mario_13davekunz8787_Kizzzy
    • 259
    • RETWEETS
    thainfamous_24RodneyH42davekunz8787_KizzzyaaronupfriggoffffTheAlexNevilnofreakinname
    skullpuppy11StephPedalDown
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    Why would a guy want to date a super skinny chick? Wouldn't it be like fucking a bag of elbows?

    • 316
    • FAVS
    TheAlexNevilBlondAmbitionTOJust_Save_MerustyguntervlowgoesPeteypops13BillMc7hirojesus
    • 103
    • RETWEETS
    Jackiee_xoxvlowgoescheesieman2tkhan74deblits3AchinrodLFuckstickTHEDUTHCHESS
    DaHess1fastmofobansheeAlbertaChris
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    "Worst case scenario, we both die. But that's going to happen eventually anyway." -Me trying to convince my friends to do stuff with me

    • 241
    • FAVS
    cuntrystronggalTheAlexNeviljesshiejessJCobb642Peteypops13hirojesus_False_Indigo_MikeLonghelt
    • 85
    • RETWEETS
    Peteypops13_False_Indigo_MikeLongheltBlondiethegoodSteevUmcrandomlady74TlaxBoy05FatherWithTwins
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    This strip club smells like broken dreams, teenage pregnancy, and daddy issues

    • 207
    • FAVS
    lolwhatevenPeteypops13hirojesushaonnidPrairie1218THEPokerWifeMissy_Kelltkhan74
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    Peteypops13rodneyt2tkhan74AlongCameAnjaZedRebelrlkraleyChipKellysBallsHelmdawgE
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    Ugh, Mom he's not a drug dealer. He's more of a drug farmer. Relax.

    • 201
    • FAVS
    cuntrystronggalTheAlexNevilvlowgoeshirojesusFreakyFuckedUpTHEPokerWifewrstew5150Missy_Kell
    • 56
    • RETWEETS
    cuntrystronggalwrstew5150tkhan74mel_coles14hunnieblondeNJFreudianTheButchJones_mullane_
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    If you see a chick with dreads it's a flat out guarantee the carpet matches the drapes.

    • 187
    • FAVS
    deKenstructionhirojesusNJFreudianCoopFoggBlondiethegoodiamthelastmanTheButchJonesReginaldDennys
    • 45
    • RETWEETS
    TheButchJonesSteevUmcKatie_Lady_HaysWhskyT____________SaraESpiveyHelmdawgEbeerito_houmamiss
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    I say "Wow! That is a great goatee" and they get all pissed off. Just take the fucking compliment lady! Christ!

    • 187
    • FAVS
    TheAlexNevilhirojesusNJFreudianCoopFoggflygirlleahyoungblood905estatesale16ozzyunc
    • 36
    • RETWEETS
    TheAlexNevilRobbySpankmeozzyuncKimKardFetusnezrorcareylikeswineSaraESpiveyChipKellysBalls
    Werbo1937________
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    Drunk me knows sober me is kind of bitchy so drunk me texts stupid shit then deletes the inbox so sober me has no proof drunk me is retarded

    • 166
    • FAVS
    KimKardFetusHashtagHawkinsangelizajDJsideboob616OverMediKatedWalterLiveOakhappypap09BaxDoll__________
    • 49
    • RETWEETS
    rlkraleygearmandoChipKellysBallsSassyjan6871angiehyaJamesry21rebuzmasweirdcommercial
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    Axe for Women. For those days when you just want to smell like feral cat piss

    • 151
    • FAVS
    ChipKellysBallsBlondiethegoodopenchakraTheButchJonesCoolCamel69ZedRebelbrandynwiththeyHelmdawgE
    • 31
    • RETWEETS
    TheButchJonesZedRebelMargirliamPS_IRuddYouJT_IV_FGsPlayThingAmpersandInterBbadongism
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    For like 3 months I only had 30 followers on Twitter and a couple RT's in the last 10 days quadrupled that. Keep RTing the little guys :)

    • 129
    • FAVS
    The_GetawayGirlvlowgoesChipKellysBallsMikeLongheltBlondiethegoodTheButchJonesKatie_Lady_HaysHelmdawgE
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    vlowgoesTheButchJonesHelmdawgEPS_IRuddYoukmartin532_kimColt_SeethersFGsPlayThingHa_Ha_ThatAway
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    That dude was NOT excited that I ended the date with a fist bump and a "good game, bro".

    • 121
    • FAVS
    ChipKellysBallsMikeLongheltBlondiethegoodTheButchJonesHelmdawgEgg21462PS_IRuddYoudcunning1
    • 34
    • RETWEETS
    MikeLongheltidkjaclynmissxdevDadandBuriedzolofightermochanyaGetongafavstar1000favs
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    People say I look pretty and feminine when I wear dress until I walk, then they say "When the fuck did Brian Urlacher get here?"

    • 126
    • FAVS
    ChipKellysBallsBlondiethegoodTheButchJonesHelmdawgEapodixisPS_IRuddYouDadandBurieddanrgraber
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    JT_IV_FGsPlayThingbadongismJust_BCSBillyPrestonEsqGrapeJuice40______fastmofobansheeminisla
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    I imagine that if the moon could talk it would probably be really whiny and be all like "Why don't you visit anymore? I miss us"

    • 112
    • FAVS
    normmynormChipKellysBallsbackporchladycreepontoastMikeLongheltBlondiethegoodHelmdawgEDadandBuried
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    MikeLongheltMandyMoeMents____FGsPlayThingfavstar1000favsbadongismNicoleyy_DJust_BCSLGwenn
    SteelFontana
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    I'm really good at complaining about not dating while simultaneously saying no to 90% of guys that ask.

    • 118
    • FAVS
    ChipKellysBallsMikeLongheltBlondiethegoodTheButchJonesHelmdawgEgg21462ChinaCatCrystalDadandBuried
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    TKCExperienceDadandBuriedFGsPlayThingskullpuppy11VinShu_ESQ____favstar1000favsillz35TDeeRock
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    I won't consider myself an adult until I know how to fold a fitted sheet... So probably never....

    • 102
    • FAVS
    ChipKellysBalls_False_Indigo_MikeLongheltBlondiethegoodbrandynwiththeyHelmdawgEgg21462DadandBuried
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    MikeLongheltfavstar1000favsdanrgrabernicratwomanFGsPlayThingTwaiDizzleWasARebelskullpuppy11
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    I hope tonight is so wild that it completely eliminates any possibility of me being elected to any public office in the future.

    • 98
    • FAVS
    ChipKellysBallsBlondiethegoodHelmdawgEapodixisoxleyadriennegg21462hoopahoepnativeminnow
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    gg21462jcwilkinson1960StexcyjeffswarensFGsPlayThingGretzky1972skullpuppy11ashleyy_goerrs____
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    I didn't say your mom was white trash, I just said every time I've seen her she's been in a tweety bird or tasmanian devil t-shirt...

    • 99
    • FAVS
    ChipKellysBallsBlondiethegoodKatie_Lady_HaysHelmdawgEDadandBurieddanrgraberMandyMoeMents____FormerGrunt______
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    FormerGrunt______Colt_SeethersFGsPlayThingskullpuppy11robo_junkieLaceyLiley___________cherryberryGrapeJuice40______
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    The worst job ever has to be Taco Bell janitor, right?

    • 87
    • FAVS
    ChipKellysBallsBlondiethegoodAndLive2LoveHelmdawgEapodixisDadandBurieddanrgraberTomSchally
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    AndLive2LoveFormerGrunt______nicratwomanFGsPlayThingskullpuppy11Zigs26AJO4EVERfoxylectric______
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    Lost 35 pounds in the last year and didn't even lose a cup size. Now that's what I call winning mothafuckas.

    • 96
    • FAVS
    ChipKellysBallsBlondiethegoodZedRebelHelmdawgEDadandBuriedMandyMoeMents____Colt_SeethersAJSchirling______
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    FGsPlayThingskullpuppy11GrapeJuice40______Favstar_NSFWbreakdownhereCynicalLongkatRDub4yaNymphoFor________
@TheDreschenator

@TheDreschenator

Full time student/asshole, part time bank teller/amateur magician/astrophysicist/binge drinker.