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  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    Women are only terrible at parking because we're constantly being lied to about what 9 inches is

    • 872
    • FAVS
    doovusmoon_pizza_mikebdsockeyMizzTrishaa2haseenajordangeroustanderyleahGr33n
    • 532
    • RETWEETS
    doovuspretty_gravesbdsockeynigi_mawestanderyleaBalletFaeriemohamedkomziGreenMonk
    chopper4jkCarmel_ColemanImprobableEddie
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    Meth: Because hillbillies doing chemistry is always a good call.

    • 558
    • FAVS
    RockKraller78GriffinChloeO_Hfocks_in_soxLivsey1Social_Mimeestee3213AamirMemon86
    • 273
    • RETWEETS
    RockKrallerMarilynLynchKevinWright196878GriffinERN_MalleyscrubTheQuietRightCrazzzyKencal_francis
    skullpuppy11StephPedalDown
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    Why would a guy want to date a super skinny chick? Wouldn't it be like fucking a bag of elbows?

    • 329
    • FAVS
    RockKrallerwhereami18billdoliciousDriftRobertsindulgentgeekVisitor_11uncybillizedAamirMemon86
    • 108
    • RETWEETS
    uncybillizedMichelle_9693EternalSikhnifusedudehirojesusJackiee_xoxvlowgoescheesieman2
    DaHess1__fastmofobansheeAlbertaChris
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    "Worst case scenario, we both die. But that's going to happen eventually anyway." -Me trying to convince my friends to do stuff with me

    • 256
    • FAVS
    moon_pizza_mikeRockKrallerAmonkarMohakbpubkratosfrostbiteurgeekisshowingGSHOK9Michelle_9693
    • 95
    • RETWEETS
    leolioness0486_NYSportsGuy99urgeekisshowingGSHOK9Favstar250Michelle_9693Bigskoolritingkelreadman
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    Ugh, Mom he's not a drug dealer. He's more of a drug farmer. Relax.

    • 219
    • FAVS
    _selwilKendall__Howardviolet_heartinthatcarlygirlemily5390CVTBabybatsflywestMythicalCrystal
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    hirojesusMIIItthrabatsflywestMythicalCrystalSoulYodelerMichelle_9693BigskoolritingWebbPaganfinger
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    This strip club smells like broken dreams, teenage pregnancy, and daddy issues

    • 212
    • FAVS
    GSHOK9fusedudeDiazHermannormmynorm__StephenBCramer__lolwhatevenPeteypops13hirojesus
    • 69
    • RETWEETS
    Michelle_9693fusedudehirojesusnormmynorm__Peteypops13rodneyt2tkhan74AlongCameAnja
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    If you see a chick with dreads it's a flat out guarantee the carpet matches the drapes.

    • 202
    • FAVS
    Tee3oneBiddleRidleyNoMrcyNDg_buggcrispsignsdeviantstranger__ReezyIsMyNameTrudell_Son
    • 56
    • RETWEETS
    veryavggamerhirojesusNoMrcyNDcrispsignsdeviantstranger__iGreenMonkurgeekisshowingGSHOK9
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    I say "Wow! That is a great goatee" and they get all pissed off. Just take the fucking compliment lady! Christ!

    • 194
    • FAVS
    RockKrallersee_vaibhavBiddleRidleyMichelle_9693Donnie_FairburnfusedudeStephenBCramer__TheAlexNevil
    • 40
    • RETWEETS
    hirojesusMichelle_9693BigskoolritingfusedudeTheAlexNevilRobbySpankmeozzyunc__KimKardFetus
    Werbo1937________
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    Drunk me knows sober me is kind of bitchy so drunk me texts stupid shit then deletes the inbox so sober me has no proof drunk me is retarded

    • 173
    • FAVS
    RockKrallerjezebelligerentsemple42hirojesusreturns2tweetfusedudeStephenBCramer__KimKardFetus
    • 53
    • RETWEETS
    PillarOfAshsemple42hirojesusfuseduderlkraleygearmandoChipKellysBallsSassyjan6871
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    Axe for Women. For those days when you just want to smell like feral cat piss

    • 156
    • FAVS
    RockKrallersemple42hirojesusfusedudeStephenBCramer__ChipKellysBallsBlondiethegoodopenchakra
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    hirojesusfusedudeTheButchJonesZedRebelMargirliamPS_IRuddYouOliverGuardDog__FGsPlayThing
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    For like 3 months I only had 30 followers on Twitter and a couple RT's in the last 10 days quadrupled that. Keep RTing the little guys :)

    • 134
    • FAVS
    hirojesusestee3213IDGAF_vickiyfusedudeStephenBCramer__The_GetawayGirlvlowgoesChipKellysBalls
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    hirojesusfavstar_historyfusedudevlowgoesTheButchJonesHelmdawgEPS_IRuddYoukmartin532_kim
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    That dude was NOT excited that I ended the date with a fist bump and a "good game, bro".

    • 128
    • FAVS
    RockKrallersemple42hirojesusA_DevineDelightSocial_MimefusedudeStephenBCramer__ChipKellysBalls
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    OneChance40RockKrallerhirojesusSocial_MimefusedudeMikeLongheltidkjaclynmissxdev
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    People say I look pretty and feminine when I wear dress until I walk, then they say "When the fuck did Brian Urlacher get here?"

    • 131
    • FAVS
    RockKrallersemple42hirojesusfusedudeStephenBCramer__ChipKellysBallsBlondiethegoodTheButchJones
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    semple42hirojesusfusedudeOliverGuardDog__FGsPlayThingbadongismJust_BCSBillyPrestonEsq
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    I imagine that if the moon could talk it would probably be really whiny and be all like "Why don't you visit anymore? I miss us"

    • 117
    • FAVS
    LzbethRachaelsee_vaibhavhirojesusfusedudeStephenBCramer__normmynorm__ChipKellysBallsbackporchlady
    • 32
    • RETWEETS
    see_vaibhavhirojesusfusedudeMikeLongheltMandyMoeMents____FGsPlayThingfavstar1000favsbadongism
    SteelFontana
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    I'm really good at complaining about not dating while simultaneously saying no to 90% of guys that ask.

    • 123
    • FAVS
    RockKrallerstefwithaneffhirojesusfusedudeStephenBCramer__ChipKellysBallsMikeLongheltBlondiethegood
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    hirojesusfusedudeTKCExperienceDadandBuriedFGsPlayThingskullpuppy11VinShu_ESQfavstar1000favs
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    I won't consider myself an adult until I know how to fold a fitted sheet... So probably never....

    • 108
    • FAVS
    AndLive2LoveGANNAwhom__AnotherDamnLisahirojesusfusedudeStephenBCramer__ChipKellysBalls_False_Indigo_
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    PillarOfAshhirojesusIDGAF_vickiyfusedudeMikeLongheltfavstar1000favsdanrgrabernicratwoman
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    I hope tonight is so wild that it completely eliminates any possibility of me being elected to any public office in the future.

    • 106
    • FAVS
    GANNAwhom__franchezkuhJlofarsaysconcretesledge_hirojesusswingcrusaderfusedudeStephenBCramer__
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    veryavggamerconcretesledge_hirojesusfusedudegg21462jcwilkinson1960Stexcyjeffswarens
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    I didn't say your mom was white trash, I just said every time I've seen her she's been in a tweety bird or tasmanian devil t-shirt...

    • 102
    • FAVS
    hirojesusfusedudeStephenBCramer__ChipKellysBallsBlondiethegoodKatie_Lady_HaysHelmdawgEDadandBuried
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    hirojesusfusedudeFormerGrunt______FuzzyBonerFGsPlayThingskullpuppy11robo_junkieLaceyLiley________
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    RT @iamenidcoleslaw: If I ever ask you for a photo of your dick, it's only because me & my friends are bored & want something to ...

    • 112
    • RETWEETS
    fusedudeAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • TheDreschenator
      JD @TheDreschenator

    The worst job ever has to be Taco Bell janitor, right?

    • 90
    • FAVS
    hirojesusfusedudeStephenBCramer__ChipKellysBallsBlondiethegoodAndLive2LoveHelmdawgEapodixis
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    hirojesusfusedudeAndLive2LoveFormerGrunt______nicratwomanFGsPlayThingskullpuppy11Zigs26
@TheDreschenator

@TheDreschenator

Full time student/asshole, part time amateur magician/astrophysicist/binge drinker.

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