Remember, it's not terrorism when the US does it.

I WASN'T BORN WITH ENOUGH MIDDLE FINGERS.

I live every day like it's National Coffee Day.

A secret movie full of Whedonites, shot WHILE Joss was making #TheAvengers?! Just fucking tell me Joss isn't King of Nerds, I dare you.

I don't want to do most things.

Not ONE of these morons can give a straight answer. They can never say "Yes" or "No'. #cnbcdebate

Protesters being arrested across the country. And who's heard anything from @barackobama?!

Twitter showed a Tweet as favorited that I hadn't even read yet. But I wanted to favorite it. DID I JUST WIN TWITTER?!

A thousand times this. RT @wolfrum Why would you roast a Charlie Sheen when it's already baked?

Morale has vastly improved sir @onlyastoner, but request permission to continue the bong hits regardless.

Photo: Prepared for the zomobie apocalypse http://t.co/44ji8jT6

The President does not even come close to running the country. #ReaganDebate

If $200K/yr is middle-class, then I will never be middle class, and neither will the vast majority of Americans.

Must read of the Day: Married Lesbian Couple Rescued 40 Teens from Norway Massacre - Band of Thebes - http://bit.ly/ruhxGn

"Cancel food stamps and 7 million Americans drop to zero income." http://j.mp/pjCddl

I will never deny that my shit stinks. #thisipromise

FUCK NICKELBACK. #MYEARSAREBLEEDING #FUCKFOOTBALL

In my case, in hand I jerk. RT @spideroger RT @mrbrowneye2 In vagina we thrust.

Photo: Coolest ear piercing ever http://t.co/tKCvK6Rx

Photo: Fuck you, I'm science bitches http://t.co/deAmrHgz