Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
"Do you have any gum? My mouth tastes like dick."
Not to brag but I'm followed by 11 Justin Biebers, 6 Barack Obamas and 4 Lady Gagas.
Person, person, person, person, person, person, Waldo, person, person, person, person, person, person, person, person.
" Prayers are just as positive as donatin time; money; or blood!" // You have got to be fucking kidding me.
"Ugh, I can't believe I said that thing five years ago." -Thoughts before falling asleep every night
All girls who give head go to heaven
Watching "Adventure Time" w/my boys. Makes me feel like I smoked massive bong hit. Paranoid that that my kids think I look high.
My next taping I want the only crowd shot to be of the one guy thats not laughing that comics always focus on.
*horse grabs mic between hoves* Hay first off I'd like to thank horse Jesus
“what seems to be the bloblem officer?” -the blob trying to play it cool in front of cops
get less and
"We've reached an arrangement. An EDIBLE arrangement."
I missed Earth. There were no trees, grass, or dirt in space, but it was still preferable to being stuck on the same planet with her.
You can charm the critics and have nothin' to eat. Just slip on a banana peel, the world's at your feet. Make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh!