@juddapatow @realdonaldtrump the fact that you dangle millions as a rude ploy while tens of thousands starve is disgusting. #UnAmerican

@rationalists Thousands are now bedazzling their hoodies in the name of street saftey.

@rationalists Sad as fuck when a shooting in a town needs to be clarified by The New, Aurora shooting.
#brokencountry

@scullymike I almost tweeted 'Me Too!', but I thought you said re-wiping.

@elizabayne then crying in the tub repeating the lines at the end of that scene, 'big mistake, huge!'

@belloso 🍻

@dan_is_boring @gspellchecker Friendly fire GS!! friendly fire!!

@rationalists Happy Australia Day! Finally reason for Aussies to get drunk and loud! Oye Oye Oye!!!

@nerdfaced I know right?! They waited sooo long !

@thegallantshow @delaynamichelle not in like a basement, like in a relationship....I made it weird.

@delaynamichelle Cheers ;)
When he calls you late at night, full of regret, remember there are loads of dudes who'd keep ya.

@delaynamichelle @david_hardar @rickygervais if that's your real pic, you'll bounce back. Merry Happy.

@rationalists Ya but if you have cancer waiting for when cancer threatens you, you can cancer it first. It's simple math CJ, simple math.

@nerdfaced you two would make a Gouda couple.

@chasemit do you, as I, have that one show off guest that winks and says, "not all of us". ?
#eatibgdisordersCANbefunny

@mdvaldosta you just described the life of the penis.

@thethomason I heard Daniel Day-Lewis was nervous of not getting the role upon hearing his competition was,
John-Jacob-Jingle-Heimer-Schmidt

@rationalists coaching a New Zealand rugby team?
#missingthepoint

@rationalists quote of the night. "IF, we are going to have woman in the workforce, we should be more flexible"
#AnnCoultercums

@rationalists uh CJ, Mitt was actually a brave American, searching for the enemy in the last place you would suspect! #RomneyLogic