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Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Lent! *a huge crowd of Catholics goes wild*
Dreamt I was at a retro screening of Alien in a vast multiplex and bumped into Daniel Radcliffe who was 6'7" and no less lovely.
if u like xmas so much why dont u merry it ahahahaha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... ha... ha.
I may have lost the Powerball Lotto, but I won my village's Lottery! I wonder why everybody else is holding rocks...
The principal difference between a Black Friday retail employee and Santa Claus is that Santa only has to look at 8 assholes at a time.
Attention @cnn!! I tried to vote but was prevented by a black panther who looked VERY intimidating. Then told there was no voting at the zoo
#Gemini: Stand outside your local polls and knock down anyone who approaches.
Halloween is right around the corner. You can tell because all the stores are decked out for Christmas.
If you say, "It's the thought that counts" prior to a gift purchase just pack it in, your gift sucks. #ThoughtIsNotOnAnyonesXmasList
Kim Kardashian files for divorce after 72 days. Another example of how same-sex marriage is destroying the sanctity of the very institution.
"To many male gamers, feminist just means “someone who will not tolerate the only jokes I know how to make.”"
"So, you see a puppy and a unicorn in those clouds, huh? You don't want to know what I see, kid." ~Stephen King
RT @lisafleisher RT @larrybraverman TURN ON CNN GIRL SOME SHIT IS GOING DOWN RT @ladygaga Monsters ready for me 2 announce The Judas Video?
Master of the mediocre. Harbinger of the half-assed.
