@TheInfamousGdub's (Aaron L. M. Goodwin) most faved Tweets...
The great thing about Thin Mints, aside from being a delicious breakfast is they double as a substitute for brushing your teeth.
Folks assume I'm lazy 'cause I'm fat, and I'd offer a compelling argument against them, but this carrot cake ain't gunna' eat itself.
Thanks Internet. I searched for insomnia help & found tons of blogs with giant lists of advice. I stayed up all night reading them.
Oh, I get it. Just because I’m a fat guy I must eat ALL-THE-TIME?! Well, I’ll tell you wha…oh wait, the oven went off. Taquito Party!
There’s a fine line between self-deprecating humor & reinforcing people’s disdain for you. I really wish I would've known earlier.
Coolest shortcut ever: with one hand hold space-v-6-n-m and wait until you notice you're flipping yourself off.
If I had my own personal collection of unfinished works it would be mostly full of attempts to ask girls out.
When eating odd, unidentifiable food I always tell myself “it’s a mushroom, it’s totally a mushroom, man I hope it’s a mushroom”
Resist the urge to say "NICE CANS" to student on her way to recycle. Resist the urge to say "NICE CANS" to student on her way to recycle ...
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