@jessethorn "Where there is laughter there is no fear..." - Umberto Eco

@johnfugelsang Dick Cheney is so evil the Dark Side comes to him.

This seems like solid, scientific advice, but I will conduct my own experiments. Thanks, Dr. @eugenemirman pic.twitter.com/0oxIjN3PnS

#FF help make the magic happen: @et_agency @joannesolomon @joselinder @samritchie @thenicolewitte @batgrrlnyc @avphibes @katadudle

@johnfugelsang You mama's so fat, she probably has a pre-existing condition that will disqualify her from ever getting health insurance!

#FF My writers' group, the Algonquin Rectangle Table of Brooklyn @alinasimone @aaronwolfe @samritchie @thenicolewitte @joselinder

I am bringing some French people to @avphibes 4th of July BBQ or as real Americans call them "Freedom" people.

Dame Diana Rigg should be head bitch in charge of everything.

Fare thee well, @ebertchicago. You gave the world Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.

I go to Union, NJ and meet the world's worst comic and hilarity ensues! This & other showbiz stories @worstgigever  http://worstgigeverpodcast.tumblr.com/ 

Happy rock 'n' roll birthday to @tonisnightout -- follow her!

Buy @avphibes tribute to bacon and freedom!  http://www.yujean.com/home/yuj/page_4045_76/one_nation_under_bacon_sticker.html?stpl= …

We were discussing when when Live Journal was a thing.

For the kids! @ttsvarietyshow at @bellhouseny with @mshowalter, @eugenemirman, @mrdavehill, @phantomglennis, me & more! http://t.co/TonGFtrq

Right now, Anne Romney's horse is sitting in first class grumpily demanding more blankets.

I can move fire with my bare hands; I just burned myself on the friggin' toaster!

Time to get dressed. If I'm late for temple, all the good G-d will be taken before I get there.

@xenijardin I think she designed the Ikea shopping experience - up and in a circle - I always expect a bolt to the head at checkout.

I got to pet this this little goatlet. pic.twitter.com/hhWDEC4TEY

In the future some, some PhD student will have to archive this era of my writing under the headers Roomba Cat, Ape Woman and Naked Nerds.