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Drunk at the store! Can't wait to find out what I got me!
I wanted to start a word, "Twitterdict". One addicted to Twitter. Then I realized people would say "What? You have a twitchy dick?"
Religion is so 1374.
I have 241 followers. Bet I can get that up to 250 before August.
The only time a 12-step program worked for me was the time I lived next to the liquor store.
The last time I had a date, it was part of a date-nut pinwheel cookie. And that was a long time ago.
There's a funny drunk guy on TV. Oh, wait, my TV is off. I was looking at my reflection. Never mind.
Bored at the library. Wish I had something to read.
Most of you do realize that 95% of those "funny texts" are fake, right?
Some assembly required. Contents may settle during shipping. Results not typical. Local taxes may apply. Rated I for Immature.