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I fucking want to punch every asshole who is too lazy to use turn signals.
I want a gyro from Greek Village.
The people from the 4th floor keep using our bathrooms to poop. I'm gonna go up there and fart in their hallway.
It's funny. We're all speaking English, but it's not the same. At all. Simple (you'd think) concepts are requiring far too much explanation.
The straw for my margarita is perfect for doing FAT lines. I'm keeping it. Just in case I ever do coke.
I do not want to work anymore. All I want to do is not work and that's what I'm going to be doing as much as possible until I leave work.
When I tweet, I tweet for me. I don't need your charity. La lalala lalalalalalala lalala lalala lalalalalalala