I really should learn to say "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it’s wide use 3 fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.

Who wants to have the first ever group sexting? Anyone? #GuniessWorldRecord

Diarrhea would be a beautiful name if it didn't mean diarrhea.

If a mentally challenged kid is late for class, is it ok to call him tardy?
#JustSaying

Why do girls talk about their menstrual cycle on Twitter? We don't care!!! You nasty!
#TMI

@melsite1 @hollowout @randallr01 @rich40iw I can help you w/that. There are over 2500 gods. What makes you think there is only 1?

#ff @13spencer He speaks his mind. His honesty is dead on & funny. #OneNightStand
#TwitterCrush

TY @stacey_dixon: #FF @krishalpin @auragasmic @rufuswgriswold @fortheriverstyx @giggles3475 @themofojones @deliciouslybad @baristaman

It's Fucking Friday!! #FF @dominicplant @sethmacfarlane
@samalmightysam @stacey_dixon @13spencer @whattheffacts

TY @dominicplant: #FF @evetheatheist @themofojones @baddealer @uperiner @holdenmagroine @bren_69 @foxeinsocks @whattheffacts @yahoonews

@samalmightysam That's beautiful. I teared up.

I have a date tonight and I don't like him. Why am I going you ask? Because a girl has to drink.
#VodkaTonics

@peppergop That's a shame you look so hot but act so ignorant. {Facepalm} @baristaman

If we had a Mormon president; More than just the Internet will be censored. #Fascist #StopSOPA

Once again tweeps. I'm Mother Fucker Jones, Bitch! I live in your mother fuckin pants!

@13spencer Fuck Gray's Anatomy! Am I the only girl that doesn't think McDreamy is Dreamy? #yuck

God snorts coke?! @truthislove45: God formed man of the dust of the ground, &breathed in2 his nostrils the breath of life;

I worded that funny, it's hard to type with one hand. @13spencer

Retweet this if you love anal...

you know, if you are a clean freak and like to nag because I want to know who not to follow.
#Neurotic