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Dad says: Munchers munch & pounders pound but spinners just go round and round. I say: what the HELL does that even mean?
Off to see a man about some wood. Don't ask...
Left an enormous turd in toilet at work. When I looked down at it I thought, "Way to go, asshole!"
I looked that squirrel in the eye and said, "your nuts are mine"
Caught one of my socks in a compromising position with a glove. I fear their offspring.
Before I was filled with the holy splenda I became unhinged from a lack of bacon, I looked around and saw that soup was good. Well, it sucked. I ate it anyway.
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