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Hugh Hefner reported to have said "There are plenty of fish in the sea", truly showing how out of touch he is with modern ocean ecology.
If the folks who hacked @foxnewspolitics really wanted to pull a huge prank, they should have tried reporting real news and facts.
"I absolutely cannot believe that Caylee's death has gone unavenged," Says Nancy Grace, unaware that the Judicial system is not Batman.
Shitload of cop cars flying east on Chicago ave. I spotted at least 15. Someone must have tried to videotape one of them.
Social media is really good for teaching you that people you're supposed to like have awful taste in EVERYTHING.
They say it's a good idea to pee in your wet suit to stay warm, but don't do it because it's drafty in the sporting goods store.
Did you guys know that @nottjmiller gained 20 pains? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shira-lazar/comedian-tj-miller-on-cha_b_2908420.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003&ir=Comedy …
"All Glory to GOD" is usually what you hear right before a terrorist murders you and about 50 other people. So glad it's trending right now.
Somehow I managed to offend
@dalezawada but I didn't make any fat virgin jokes. Weird.
@re_reeset Don't be a liberal fag all up in my twitter feed. The gun didn't sprout fingers and pull its own trigger.
OIF Veteran. Future failed comic. Defender of gluten. My penis is an excellent listener. Just assume all of my tweets are parodying WitStream.
