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  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    Nothing says "mentally ill and loving it" like stuffed animals in your car window.

    • 57
    • FAVS
    HonkyTonkRobotSeanpocalypseGetCougarizedgrumpysalmonTorriableDanKCharnleyJasonBerlinChiefTwittler
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    favstar50MicYsaiPope70PghPiratesGirlTMSinBanshul90bummyjonesBloatedCarcass
  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    Blocking your family on Twitter is the new hiding your stash of porn magazines.

    • 40
    • FAVS
    SeanpocalypsegrumpysalmonTorriableDanKCharnleyChiefTwittlerDatBarberCanCutBulsaWoodJaxon_correctomundo
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    GentlePathanAASSLHcaribelliBuckyHermit
  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    No situation has ever been made worse by adding titties to it.

    • 26
    • FAVS
    HonkyTonkRobotSeanpocalypsegrumpysalmonTorriableDanKCharnleydonniJasonBerlinChiefTwittler
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    TherealjmichelsViagraOfChaos__favstar_popMichael5fingersAFreakNamedToludrinkingsince84FaisalAdam_
  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    I find it an honor that people take the time to unfollow me.

    • 25
    • FAVS
    HonkyTonkRobotSeanpocalypseGetCougarizedgrumpysalmonTorriableDanKCharnleyChiefTwittlerchris_montoya
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    DooSquareBitchy_I_amsostarstruck02
    MindyFurano
  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    Love is what Lilly & Marshall have and that's that.

    • 18
    • FAVS
    SeanpocalypsegrumpysalmonTorriableDanKCharnley_correctomundoPointBrokeDalyaElMaghrabyaleneparr
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    aleneparrfinebymia__WaFFles__karrar91IsmailMayaBoyCalledAnnAWalili
  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    I put the onion rings inside me like they're coins to my jukebox.

    • 25
    • FAVS
    SeanpocalypseGetCougarizedgrumpysalmonDanKCharnleyJasonBerlinEatingmealsDatBarberCanCutStoicRounin
  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    If I could have back all the time Ive spent staring into freezers I'd learn to play the piano.

    • 18
    • FAVS
    SeanpocalypsegrumpysalmonDanKCharnleyJasonBerlinDatBarberCanCutBulsaWoodJaxonAmazonInActionIdeajuice
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    IdeajuicealeneparrMiich58StatusInBeirut
  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    MSN has become the #1 favorite hangout for all the ghosts on the internet.

    • 18
    • FAVS
    SeanpocalypseDanKCharnleyJasonBerlinDatBarberCanCutIdeajuicePointBrokeangelaremondiMindyFurano
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    EatingmealsMindyFurano
  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    Just saw Sarah Michelle Gellar at the supermarket

    • 7
    • FAVS
    SeanpocalypseDanKCharnleyAHLAM_ALSHARIFSarahMichelleGGAMALALSHARIFimsocoollike1dido669
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    AHLAM_ALSHARIFlaurentfurelaudLatifaAlyahyareginaldmasucciSMG___NimishaTheGreatAMALALSHARIFSarahMichelleGG
  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    Everytime i visit a website, I Check the " Remember Me" button in order to feel good about my weight.

    • 17
    • FAVS
    SeanpocalypseDanKCharnleyDatBarberCanCutBulsaWoodJaxonBunnydurdenPointBrokeMindyFuranoWildSannyaSIN
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    GentlePathan
  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    And as Weed go with Greed, so is their absence in my weekly days.

    • 17
    • FAVS
    SeanpocalypseDanKCharnleyDatBarberCanCutPointBrokeGentlePathanBoyCalledAnnMothpeteAspersioncast
  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    95% of all Fords sold in the last 20 years are still on the road today. The other 5% actually made it home.

    • 14
    • FAVS
    SeanpocalypseDanKCharnleyJasonBerlinDatBarberCanCutIdeajuicePointBrokeMindyFuranoYMsaid
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    abuimadStatusInBeirut
  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    How can you expect others to fuck you when you don't even fuck yourself?!

    • 15
    • FAVS
    SeanpocalypseDanKCharnleyJasonBerlinDatBarberCanCutPointBrokeMindyFuranoStoicRouninYMsaid
  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    I killed my tooth fairy, That's why i have such a hideous smile.

    • 13
    • FAVS
    SeanpocalypseDanKCharnleyDatBarberCanCutIdeajuicePointBrokeBoyCalledAnnExploringUrMindnavanax
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Eric_Bader
  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    I don't go out much. It smells like feet and ketchup out there.

    • 13
    • FAVS
    SeanpocalypseDanKCharnleyJasonBerlinDatBarberCanCutBulsaWoodJaxonDalyaElMaghrabyaleneparrAlanDavies18
  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    Don't give me that look where you pretend you never went home with a stranger's calculator before.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    SeanpocalypseDanKCharnleyDatBarberCanCutPointBrokeOtisPdQilAladdinpreawsaurusStatusInBeirut
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    DooSquareJilnarXOjagan520StatusInBeirut
  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    Spoiler Alert: Tomorrow's

    • 12
    • FAVS
    SeanpocalypseDanKCharnleyDatBarberCanCutaleneparrBoyCalledAnnThe_RedSheepdogExploringUrMindAASSLH
  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    So alone in my dreams I might call them nightmares.

    • 10
    • FAVS
    SeanpocalypseDanKCharnleyDatBarberCanCutBulsaWoodJaxonSalMazrooeillvvzzzjoshingsternBoyCalledAnn
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Psikedelic
  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    Dang it my clit looks good in the morning.

    • 10
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyDatBarberCanCutIdeajuiceBoyCalledAnnAspersioncastEricMartenNotThatKevinmeormyselfish
  • TheOstin
      Mohsen @TheOstin

    Honoring the vast number of people who died in order to ensure the popularity of quarterbacks everywhere through this tweet.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    SeanpocalypseDanKCharnleyDatBarberCanCutAASSLHGeneralGreviousGrizzGriffithsTime4DepressionBoyCalledAnn
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    AASSLH
@TheOstin

@TheOstin

I invented the catchphrase “Shitness & Fitness.”