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Watching @dannyzuker repeatedly pull the wig off @realdonaldtrump on twitter has been the highlight of my weekend so far
you're just a neon sign in the middle of the desert. How the fuck do you love me? pic.twitter.com/sd7h4q9M1I
Remember, @dannyzuker , you are not even the real "boss" of Modern Family - no big $$$$$$'s for you!
Guys, our vaginas itch, too. But we have the decency to hide behind something and scratch them.
I'm glad they changed it to "Batman" from his original name, "Wingy McOrphan"
I'm pretty upset that the show Bridezillas isn't about bitchy women in wedding dresses destroying Japan.
Justin Bieber getting tasered would be the most watched YouTube video of all time.
Just farted on a wood chair in public but thankfully no one heard it because I have my earbuds in.