A man with long nails is like a woman with a mustache, fucking disgusting.

If you had to choose between your family and 10 million dollars, what's the first thing you'd buy?

I don't usually sleep enough, but when I do, its still not enough.

"Why does everybody talk to me?" - the hand.

What doesn't kill you, disappoints me.

You're never lonely till your phone dies.

I haven't heard from you in a while, I hope you are dead.

If you never want to meet an Arab, show up on time.

- "فيه تذاكر ستاندر كوميدي؟؟"
- "تذاكر ايش؟"
- "ستاندر كوميدي"
- ".... للأسف مافيه عرض كلهم انتحروا"

Never swim in a pool where there's a person standing in the corner acting like he's doing nothing.

You look like a bad decision I'm about to make.

I believe in love at first sandwich.

I'm not mean, أنت اللي مين؟

Home is where you shit comfortably.

Awwww your new born baby looks like all other new born babies.

I just got myself one night stand, from Ikea.

Trust me, the best way to hide your food is to eat it.

I'm not scared of you, who do you think you are? A dentist?

I don't usually arrive on time, but when I do, Its a wrong address.

I've came to a conclusion that no Arab delivers a top class joke like an Egyptian.