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To everyone who cannot be with your cats tonight, I raise a glass of wine with a single cat hair floating in it.
Hot time, summer in the city / something something something something G. Gordon Liddy
I sure hope Liv Tyler calls Todd Rundgren today.
It's possible to visit Disney World 35 times and love their movies and still dislike their saccharine Princessification of our culture.
Worst part of free bagel day is watching the skinny interns argue about splitting a bagel three ways.
If you have a friend that you know is depressed, the national suicide hotline is good but giving them your own number is better.
Just stop marketing something for five seconds and be a human being.
Mild-mannered internet addict, officially authorized to speak for the Kids in the Hall in internet-related situations.