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"The Last Supper" is an important piece of art because it shows how everyone was arguing over the bill
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Hare Krishna Leaflet- By James Patterson
The Hughes Family Holiday Newsletter- By James Patterson
Fortune cookie insert- By James Patterson
Wow - you get drunk one time at the office Christmas party and kiss someone under the cameltoe...
What's your first memory of pizza?
Being stood up on a date isn’t a “soul crushing” experience, you goddamn Instagram ninny.
Shucking your clam. Like 'Busting your balls' but when talking to chicks.
If anyone needs glass cut, I've got nipples you can use.
Apparently leaving happy hour tearful is frowned upon.
Who wants to come over and watch porn on my 60" flat screen mirror?
Anyway. This polar bear club is BS. Why am I the only one naked?
Now I lay me down to sleep...face down ass up.
How you gonna use a phone that is bigger than your head?
Those who don't think logically or with common sense are only alive because of the weakness of altruistic people.
A blow job is all I really want... to give.
Discussed WWII with my daughter today. She asked me why "the Nazis were such dicks." Proof that I'm good at teaching History AND English.
That's not a typo.
I believe you're not drunk.
I play with your vagina all the time. And by vagina I me your avi.
You too dude. You got a vagina avi.
Former awful tweeter, current terrible tweeter.