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Like many writers, I have warm up rituals. Before I begin I pour a fresh cup of coffee, open a window and try to read the entire Internet.
Ten year old girl missing in Tilbury. Name Jessica, wearing pink fleece if you see her contact police immediately 999. Please Retweet.
"Hello, Schrodinger's cattery, how may I help you?" "Oh, we left Pebbles with you, just ringing up to ask if he's OK?" 'Yes and no."
"Pressure is mounting on Bob Diamond." The fools! How do they think he was formed in the first place?
"Hello, Schrodinger's cattery, how may I help you?" "Oh, we left Pebbles with you, just ringing up to check if he's OK?" "Yes and no."
As the weather warms up, spare a thought for the homeless, who are now in danger of being mistaken for the merely lazy.
It all kicked off when I was doing security at the Brits one year. Steps vs Jamiroquai. I was the only thing between H and JK.
It's not that I'm proud to be British. It's that I'm grateful.
1.That the tories will do untold damage to the most vulnerable in society, & 2. what it tells us about the electorate, that they don’t care.
It's been six months since I finally gave in and agreed to get a dog. Wish I'd done it years ago. Then it might be dead by now.
Most people are in fact like Marmite - a by-product of the brewing industry.
If Twitter gets a Report Abuse button it will be used with all the restraint the Simpsons used their electric shock buttons on each other.
I feel for Sam Smith. I know what it's like to have the wrong head for the haircut you want.
Lucian Freud dies at 88. His last two fat ladies.
I’d like to make one observation, in what I hope is a reasonable and conciliatory tone. There seem to be two main sources of grief here...
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